Mails in My Inbox

Attention please…..

2008-09-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

Attention please…..
Don't eat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!!!!
News report from Times of India

Avoid these tablets they are very dangerous
§ D cold
§ Vicks action- 500
§ Actified
§ Coldarin
§ Cosome
§ Nice
§ Nimulid
§ Cetrizet-D
They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.

Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it)

Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals.....
Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. It's made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals.
They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM!

Please forward to all. This may be helpful for someone………..

Thanks & Regards,
Nagaratna Vijay

WHO OWNS KASHMIR?

2008-09-26T05:58:00.001-07:00

> > WHO OWNS KASHMIR?
> >
> > An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred
> recently in the
> > United Nations Assembly that made the world community
> smile.
> >
> > A representative from India began: 'Before
> beginning my talk I want to
> > tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir,
> after whom Kashmir is
> > named.
> > When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth
> water, he thought,
> > 'What a good opportunity to have a bath.'
> >
> > He took off his clothes, put them aside on the rock
> and entered the
> > water.
> >
> > When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had
> vanished. A
> > Pakistani had stolen them.
> >
> > The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and
> in support of
> > Pakistan, he shouted, 'What are you talking about?
> The Pakistanis
> > weren't there then.'
> >
> > The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And
> now that we have made
> > that clear, I will begin my speech.'
> > -................-............

....-

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS

2008-08-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the
presence of mind and the right answer at right time.
Even if u don't know the answer for a question just
confuse the questioner

Question and the Answer given by Candidates oh sorry
they are IAS Officers now.

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor
without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC
Topper)

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how
long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank
Opted for IFS)

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand
and four apples and three oranges in the other hand,
what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for
IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an
elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it
will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS
Rank 2)

Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy
questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy
thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really
difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own
choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or
Night?"

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission
depends on the correctness of his answer,
but he thought for a while and said,
"It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a
SECOND difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

The Secret key to your goal

2008-08-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

What is it that separates the highly successful individual from the average or even successful individual? Why is it that one person seems to achieve extraordinary results on a consistent basis and another, with nearly the same training, hits and misses their accomplishments?
The success technique to which I am referring is visualization.

"Visualizing your results is the key to realizing your results."

Using Visualization is one of the most important techniques you will ever learn and one that is utilized by all high performers.

Visualizing is your key to success for two reasons:

1 Your mind thinks in pictures and images
2 Your unconscious mind drives your behavior

Your unconscious mind doesn't know the difference between something that is real and something you imagined. Whatever picture (goal, dream or wish) you consistently think about will drive your actions to create that exact picture.

When you continually see yourself in possession of your goal, your unconscious mind will move you into actions that align with the mental image you hold.

Here's a quick visualization overview to assure your goal achievement:

* Create a clear mental picture. You must associate a picture to your goal. You should picture yourself in your vision, rather than "watching" yourself achieve your goal. This "fine point" separates the masters from the masses.
Create a picture that is so real you believe you already have achieved your success. (Think in the paste tense sense, that's already a fact)

Remember: Thoughts become Things

To Your Inspiration & Happiness

Just a reminder on how to keep your pc-secure, (for novices only!)

2008-08-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

Here are my first steps for a novice user:

1) Install a Firewall- Zone Alarm (basic which is free)

The other options are : Just make sure the firewall built in with Windows XP -SP2 and above (incl. Vista) is on!
Although the built in firewall leaves much to be desired and the fact that they never seem to be updated (i use windows update and haven't seen a single update for the built in firewall on windows, ever) is reason to believe they are no good.

One always hears about antivirus,antispyware etc. but rarely about firewall, but this one is essential.
A good firewall that even prevents unauthorised outward access is recommended.

Typical scenerio 1: You have spyware on your system, it needs to send data back to its creator to be of any use. You being smart, have firewall that alerts you of an applications desire to use the internet, an application whose name is suspicious, one that you don't use, you block it. Saved.

Scenerio 2: You have virus on system. Many viruses today have a party on an infected system by inviting (downloading) all their friends from the internet onto the system. You being smart, have firewall that alerts you of a applications desire to use the internet, an application whose name is suspicious, one that you don't use, you block it. Saved. Of-course the one virus still remains to be tackled by other means (get a different antivirus etc.)

2) Install Antivirus - Too many to choose from , use any thing as long as you've seen/met 10 people who use it. (Examples: AVG free 8 -SP1 (latest, as the initial version was plagued by problems) or Avast (free version), Avira (free Version) )

Most Important: KEEP IT UPDATED

3) AntiSpyware - Use any but again ensure it is well updated. Treat it on par with Antivirus. Today spyware is as big a threat as virus and it has become increasingly difficult to differentiate between the two.
Examples: Built in with the antivirus!!!, Windows Defender from Microsoft, Spybot Search & Destroy, Lavasoft Ad-Aware 2008.

4) Browser: Use any, but make sure it is the latest version.
This is also one of the most neglected security issues. Most users do not even install a browser but use what is installed with the OS which will be IE 6 on Win XP sp2. It is most advisable to use the latest IE7 with the phishing filter ON.
Examples: Internet Explorer (IE), Firefox.

5) Prevent Pen Drive Virus - This is a strange one and most difficult to fix, but most pendrive viruses like Shahrok.exe, Muha-ha-ha and countless others are not detected by many antivirus software (Even the paid ones) until it is very late.
So try not to take pen-drives to cyber cafe etc. and then use in your computer.

Hope this article helps users new to the internet or comp to keep their pc secure, and for the seasoned users hope you remembered to update and scan ur pc!

Chill Out

2008-04-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

today's punch:
youth are not useless, but used less!!!
they are not careless but cared less!!!
(don't abuse me ...)

from sardar's book:
....................
teacher: why r u late to class?
sardar: i saw a board in front of school. thats why?
teacher: what? which board?
sardar: 'school zone- go slow'

interview for the post of detective:
..............................

......
interviewer: who killed gandhiji?
sardar: thanks sir 4 giving me the job. i'll start investigating.

sardar in army as a major:
..........................
soldier: 'sir, we r surrounded by enemies!!'
sardar major: excellent!!!!! Now we can play ringa ringa roses!!!

good news:
..........

a recent survey says that india is the 12th richest in the world now and
we don't have any outstandings in the world bank. so, lets go for a
toast!!!

a fact:(be patient)
........
if people say u r crazy, be patient!!
if they call u a monkey, relax!!
if they say u r stupid, be cool!!!
but.......
if they say u r smart, slap them, joke has it's limits!!

Women oh Women!

2008-04-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you
wish for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's
okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you.

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack!!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop
here and continue feeling good.....

Male readers: Please scroll down

*

*

*

*

*

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to
show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after our
advise to stop!

What Makes a - Great Boy/Girl Friend .

2008-01-16T23:25:00.001-08:00

What Makes a - Great Boy/Girl Friend .
Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
Someone who is caring.
Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
Someone who is interested in reality and not as a fashion display.
Someone who is honest.
Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open and responsive.
Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for you no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.

Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument and love you for everything that you are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
Someone who understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.
Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone that you can laugh with.

Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover..!
Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration .

Fake and Real friends

2008-01-16T23:24:00.001-08:00

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was
wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ...
but that shit was fun!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is
doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had
enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say
"Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about
you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will send this to all there real friends even the one who
sent it to them.

couldn't ignore...

2008-01-16T23:22:00.001-08:00

boy- i missed u at school 2day, y weren't u there?
> >
> >girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.
> >
> >boy- oh really? y?
> >
> >girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.
> >
> >boy- oh
> >
> >girl- so wht did we do in math 2day?
> >
> >boy- u didnt miss ne thing that great.......just lots of notes
> >
> >girl- ok good
> >
> >boy- yeah
> >
> >girl- hey i have a question......
> >
> >boy- ok, ask away
> >
> >girl-........how much do u love me?
> >
> >boy- u kno i love u more than anything
> >
> >girl- yeah.....
> >
> >boy- y did u ask?
> >
> >girl-................>silence<..........
> >
> >boy- is something wrong?
> >
> >girl- no nothing at all
> >
> >boy- good.
> >
> >girl- ................how much do u care about me?
> >
> >boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.
> >
> >girl- u would?
> >
> >boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there
> >something wrong??
> >
> >girl- no, everythings fine......
> >
> >boy- are u sure?
> >
> >girl- yeah.
> >
> >boy- ok.......i hope so.
> >
> >girl- ................would u die for me?
> >
> >boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun
> >
> >girl- reslly?
> >
> >boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???
> >
> >girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.
> >
> >boy- ............ok
> >
> >girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at
school.
> >
> >boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.
> >
> >girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.
> >
> >THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:
> >
> >boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?
> >
> >friend- no
> >
> >boy- oh.
> >
> >friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.
> >
> >boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.
> >
> >friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes
> >
> >boy- yeah........but not her.
> >
> >friend- idk wht else 2 say, man.
> >
> >boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.
> >
> >friend- yeah i gotta get to science, ttyl.
> >
> >THAT NIGHT:
> >
> >-ring-
> >-ring-
> >-ring-
> >-ring-
> >girl- hello?
> >
> >boy- hey
> >
> >girl- oh, hi.
> >
> >boy- y weren't u at school 2day?
> >
> >girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.
> >
> >boy- are u sick?
> >
> >girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my other
> >line.
> >
> >boy- ill wait.
> >
> >girl- it may take a while, ill call u later.
> >
> >boy-........alright, i love u hun.
> >
> > >very long pause<
> >
> >
> >girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we should break up.
> >
> >boy- what???
> >
> >girl- its the best thing for us right now.
> >
> >boy- y????
> >
> >girl- i love u.
> >
> > >click<
> >
> >
> >THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER
HER
> >PHONE.
> >
> >boy- hey dude
> >
> >friend- hey
> >
> >boy- whats up
> >
> >friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately?
> >
> >boy- no
> >
> >friend- so u didnt hear?
> >
> >boy- hear what?
> >
> >friend- um idk if i should be the one to tell u......
> >
> >boy- dude, wtf tell me
> >
> >friend- uh....call this number....433-555-3468
> >
> >boy- ok............
> >
> >BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
> >
> >-ring-
> >-ring-
> >-ring-
> >voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is nurse beckam.
> >
> >boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my
friend.
> >
> >voice- what is her name, sir?
> >(boy gives info)
> >
> >voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients
here.
> >
> >boy- really? y? what happened??? how is she???
> >
> >voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3.
> >
> >boy- WHAT HAPPENED??!!!!
> >
> >voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye.
> >
> >boy- WAIT! NO!
> >*dial tone*
> >
> >BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL
IS
> >LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
> >
> >boy- omg are u ok??
> >
> >girl- ..................
> >
> >boy- sweetie!! talk to me!!
> >
> >girl- i..........
> >
> >boy- u what?? U WHAT???
> >
> >girl- i have cancer and im on life support
> >
> >boy- .......................>breaks into
tears<......................
> >
> >girl- they're taking me off 2night
> >
> >boy- y??
> >
> >girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt
> >
> >boy- y didnt u tell me????
> >
> >girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u.
> >
> >boy- u could never hurt me
> >
> >girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout u.
> >
> >boy- ?
> >
> >girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a
> >heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you.
> >
> >boy- ...........
> >
> >girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here w/u
> >
> >boy- then y'd u break up w/me?
> >
> >nurse- young man, visiting hours are over.
> >
> >BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DIES.
> >
> >but what the boy didn't kno is that the girl only asked him those
> >questions so she could hear him say it one last time, and she only
broke up
> >w/him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks to live, and
thought
> >it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her
before
> >she died.
> >
> >NEXT DAY
> >
> >the boy is found dead with a gun in his hand..with a note in the
> >other...
> >THE NOTE SAID: i told her i would take a bullet for her....just like
> >she said she would die for me...
> >
> >
> >re-post this within 10 minutes or else the one you love will die
> >"if ur in love read this!!!!!!!!!!"

A touchy one!!!!

2008-01-16T23:16:00.001-08:00

was walking around in a store. I saw a
Cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough
money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman
Next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have
Enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you
Don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for 5
Minutes while she went to look around. She left
Quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in
His hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him
Who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and
Wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa
Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will
Bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus
Can't bring it to her where she is now.

I have to Give the doll to my mommy so that
she can give it to My sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My
Sister has gone to be with God.

Daddy says that
Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I
Thought that she could take the doll with her to
Give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said:
"I Told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her
To wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
Where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy
To take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have
To leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be
With my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad
Eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to
The boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you
Do have enough money?''

"Ok" he said "I hope that I have enough."I
Added some of my money to his without him seeing and
We started to count it. There was enough for the
Doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for
Giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added "I asked
Yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have
Enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give
It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a
White rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask
God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the
Doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again
And I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally
Different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy
Out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article
2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit
A car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the
Mother was left in a critical state. The family had

To decide whether to pull the plug on the
Life-assisting machine, because the young lady would

Not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the
Little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young
Lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch
Of white roses and I went to the funeral home where

The body of the young woman was exposed for people
To see and make last wishes before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a
Beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of
The little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that
My life had been changed forever. The love that this

Little boy had for his mother and his sister is
Still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a Fraction of a second, a drunk
driver had taken all This away from him.

Real Story

2008-01-10T03:17:00.001-08:00

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last
>> month in chennai.
>>
>> Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She is working in a call
>> centre. She has a boy friend named
>> Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone.
>> You can
>> never see her without her handphone.
>>
>> In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of
them
>> can be on the same network, and save
>> on the cost.
>>
>> She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family
knows
>> about their relationship. Shankar is very close with
>> Priya's family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away
she
>> always told her friends "If I pass away please burn
>> me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
>>
>> After her death, people cant carry her body, I was there. A lot of
>> them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had
tried
>> to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they
>> called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak
with
>> the soul of dead person , who is a
>> friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to
himself
>> slowly.
>>
>> After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". then
her
>> friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her
>> phone. He
>> then opened the grave box and place her phone and SIM card inside
the
>> casket. after that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved
and
>> they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.
>>
>> Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.
After
>> 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.
>>
>> Shankar :...."Atte, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for
me.
>> Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home
>> today, i wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home
>> first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came,
they
>> told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said
>> "dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her
>> Please stop this nonsense". then they show him the original death
>> certificate to him.
>> They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
>>
>> He said... "Its not true. we spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
>> Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is
from
>> Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to priya's family. all of
them
>> told him to answer.he talked using the loudspeaker mode. all of them
>> heard his conversation.
>>
>> Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice
of
>> Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is
nailed
>> inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same
>> person's (who can speak with
>> the soul of deal perosns) help again.
>>
>> He brought his master to solve this matter. He & his master
>> worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really
shocked
>> them...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Hutch has the best coverage. Wherever you go, our network
>> follows!!!
>>
>> Never in my life i have read such an email...Wasted ten minutes coz
of
>> this...
>> yo........buuzzaaaaaaa........adios.......

Kinda lame.. But here goes. ...

2008-01-10T03:14:00.001-08:00

Hi Friends,
See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common.......

Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo

Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?

Give It Another Try....

OK... Here You Go... Hope You Didn't Cheat.

This Is Cool.

SCROLL DOWN

Answer:

In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?

Save Energy

2008-01-10T03:13:00.001-08:00

DO not delete pls read it takes 5 min only

v pass a good amt of time in reanding and fwding jokes and kind of sutf so my humble request to read and fwd this in ur frndlist, groups(college,office,orkut)

Hi Frnds,

How are you ? hope u all r doing best. here is the little suggestion from my side

When you use your computer to work, just remember to switch off your
monitor
every time you leave your desk. Very simple, isn't it? Just give a
thought
to what difference it can make? Roughly, normal monitors consume around
150W. Even if your screen remains ON for 1 hour per day without any use,
energy wasted per day is 150 W-h (or 0.15 "units"). This is enough to
light
a small lamp for 10 hours! If you care to switch off your monitor each
time
you leave your place, you save electricity enough for basic household
needs
of a small family in a village! If your monitor remains ON overnight,
this
figure becomes 10-fold - so you can probably save electricity for 10
families. And supposing that you leave your seat 5 times a day and it
takes
1 second to switch the monitor ON/OFF, you spend only 10 seconds a day
for
this deed which saves LOTS of energy on a long run!

Please forward this to all our colleagues and friends, if you find it
worthwhile. If all of us start this simple practice, we will surely make
a
BIG difference!

Birth Test

2008-01-10T03:07:00.001-08:00

Seems to be very perfect research!

Birth Test

Let me know your number. Once you have discovered your Birth Number, forward this email to the rest of your friends, including the one who sent this to you. Put your "number" in the "Subject" and Pass it on! Have fun!

Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn a nd the challenges we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date together, like in the example, until there is only one digit.

A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color your choice differently and give you a little insight.

Example : March 20, 1950

3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2

2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.

#1 THE ORIGINATOR

#2 THE PEACEMAKER

#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

#4 THE CONSERVATIVE

#5 THE NONCONFORMIST

#6 THE ROMANTIC

#7 THE INTELLECTUAL

#8 THE BIG SHOT

#9 THE PERFORMER

===========================================================

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR

1 's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded.

Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch, Samuel L. Jackson

#2 - THE PEACEMAKER

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Orlando Bloom, David Beckham

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view.
Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster, LL Cool J

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves.

Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST

5's are the expl orers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts before jumping to conclusions.

Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, Mark Hamil, Colin Farrell, Scott Speedman

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong&nbs p;family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn, Salma Hayek

#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They 're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the world at large.
Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Joan Baez, Princess Diana, Johnny Depp, Shah Rukh Khan

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people obje ctively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, Jack Davenport, Michelle Rodriguez

#9 - THE PERFORMER

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. The y are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley, Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean!)

Before and After Marriage

2008-01-10T03:03:00.001-08:00

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!

This is really touchin ..............

2008-01-10T03:02:00.001-08:00

this is really touchin ..............

Sanjay, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his

possession.

He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speed

limits. Many a times he was

caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never

bothered until.

One day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw

a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop

and

checked his license. He then took out his pad and started

Writing, and then handed over the sheet of paper to Sanjay.

How much was this one going to cost?!!!

Wait a minute.

What was this????

Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.

Sanjay began to read:

"Dear Sanjay,

Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when

killed by a car.

You guessed it - a speeding driver's car.

A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to

hug his three daughters.

I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven,

before I can ever hug her again.

A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand

times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it

again. Even now. Pray for me.. And be careful, Sanjay, my son is

all I have left."

Sanjay turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and

head down the road.

He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he

too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and

hugging a surprised

wife and kids when he arrived.

Life is precious. Handle it with care.

Funny how you can send a thousand jokes' through e-mail and they

spread

like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the

sanctity of life, people think

twice about sharing. Funny, how when you go to forward this

message, you will not send it to
many on your address list because you're not sure what they
believe, or what they will think of
you, for sending it to them.

Pass this on, you may save a LIFE !

Best moments in life

2008-01-10T02:59:00.001-08:00

Best moments in life

Some of the Best Moments in Life:

* To fall in love.

* To laugh until it hurts your stomach.

* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.

* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.

* To listen to your favorite song in the radio.

* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.

* To leave the! Shower and find that the towel is warm.

* To clear your last exam.

* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.

* To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year .

* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces. :)))

* Calls at midnight that last for hours. :))

* To laugh without a reason.

* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.

* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.

* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.

* To be part of a team.

* To watch the sunset from the hill top.

* To make new friends.

* To feel butterflies! In the stomach every time that you see that person.

* To pass time with your best friends.

* To see people that you like, feeling happy.

* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.

* See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.

* To take an evening walk along the beach.

* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.

* To laugh .......laugh. .......and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.

These are the best moments of life....

Let us learn to cherish them.

Say it NOW!

2008-01-10T02:57:00.001-08:00

When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U...
U Asked Me: "What Is It?"

When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U....
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile..

When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And
Hold My Hand.. Afraid That I Might Dissapear..

When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In
Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead N
Said : "U Better Be Quick, Is's Gonna Be Late.."

When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Said: "If U Really Love Me, Please
Come Back Early After Work.."

When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Cleaning The Dining Table And
Said: "Ok Dear, But It's Time For U To Help Our Child With His/Her
Revision.."

When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Knitting And U Laugh At Me..

When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Smile At Me..

When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I Love U..
We Sitting On The Rocking Chair With Our Glasses On.. I'm Reading Your
Love Letter That U Sent To Me 50 Yrs Ago..
With Our Hand Crossing Together..

When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Love Me!
I Didn't Say Anything But Cried..

That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of My Life! Because U Said U Love
Me!!!

Please Appreciate Your Loved Ones.. Say "I Love You" To Them When U
Have The Chance Now!!!

Foolish Kid?

2008-01-10T02:55:00.001-08:00

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin and 2 in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of
the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,
"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............

Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself

5 little-known Gmail features you may not yet know about

2008-01-09T01:09:00.001-08:00

http://gmailblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/5-little-known-gmail-features-you-may.html

Posted by Robby Stein, Associate Product Marketing Manager

When we began rolling out a new Gmail code architecture a few weeks ago, we also launched some new features to help improve the speed and convenience of managing email. I've been using several of these new additions over the last few weeks, and while they might seem small on their own, they really can add up to save you a lot of time and hassle. That's why I decided to list my five favorite new features that are so new, you may not have noticed them. We are still rolling them out to IE6, international and Google Apps users, but for those of you who noticed a new contact manager among other recent improvements in our latest version, here they are:

5. "Archive and next" shortcut
We added a bunch of new shortcuts to Gmail, but one that I've found to be a true time-saver is what I call the "archive and next" shortcut. When I have a lot of mail, it can be really annoying to have to open a message, click "Back to Inbox" and then select the next email I want to read. So once you enable shortcuts in Settings, you can simply press the left bracket key "[" while viewing a message to archive it, and then immediately open the next oldest one. When I see a long list of unread messages, I like to open the first one and then just hit "[" to swiftly move through my mail and archive as I go. (P.S. By clicking the right bracket "]" you can also move the other way if you want to open newer messages after you archive).

4. Share mail searches with friends
How many times do your friends tell you, "I can't find that email you sent me." Now you can prove that you did indeed send that message, despite the accusations. All you have to do is search for the message using your expert mail searching skills, and when you find it listed in the results, just copy and paste the URL and email it to your friend. When he or she goes to that link while in Gmail, your friend's Gmail will run the same search you ran and will be able to locate that "lost" email instantly. For example, if you wanted to share a search for "pick me up at airport," so flight information can be located, you would send over this URL: http://mail.google.com/mail/#search/pick+me+up+at+airport.

3. Browser navigation and history
Your web browser is now a great way to navigate Gmail. Instead of having to find the right links on the page to move from inbox to messages to other Gmail views, you can use the browser navigation buttons (back and forward) to jump back and forth between emails. You can also open your browser history and click on specific emails that you've read to go right back to them. This allows you to quickly access certain emails without having to re-read your inbox. Browser history is something that often doesn't work well on complex web apps like Gmail, but we've gone to great lengths to make it work right.

2. Bookmark emails
I frequently need to save a single email for a period of time, such as a message that includes an important phone number. But I don't want to create a separate label for one message, and I also don't want to archive all the email that comes in after that message just to keep that thread near the top of my inbox--and hopefully the top of my mind. This problem is now easily solved by a new ability to bookmark specific emails. All emails now have dedicated URLs, so just by adding a browser bookmark while viewing a message, you can return to it whenever you want, just like a regular web page--although you will still have to log in to Gmail if you've signed out.

1. "Filter messages like this"
I find filters to be one of the most useful features in Gmail, but sometimes it can be hard to set them up quickly. So we added a new capability that makes a filter based on the message you are reading, so you can keep track of future similar emails. By clicking on the dropdown menu in the upper right-hand corner of every email (the upside-down triangle), you can now see the option to "Filter messages like this." Not only can you easily create a filter based on the sender, but this is especially handy if you are trying to filter emails sent to mailing lists. We automatically set up a filter for you based on the "list ID" header, which does a better job of finding emails sent to mailing lists.

Just read

2007-11-10T02:55:00.001-08:00

># Sign on a railway station at Patna:
>Aana free, jaana free,
>pakde gaye to khana free.
>
># Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
>Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
>She may be your grandmother!
>
># Seen on a bulletin board:
>Success is relative
>More the success, more the relatives.
>
># Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
>we need your heads to run our business.
>
># A traffic slogan:
>Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never
>will be.....
>
>
>#THE BEST ONE:
>Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
>It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
>- Indian Armed Forces

Smile poem

2007-11-07T22:48:00.001-08:00

If at times you feel you want to cry
And life seems such a trial
Above the clouds theres a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile.

As you travel on lifes way
With its many ups and downs
Remember its quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns.

Among the worlds expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away,
You get one back to keep.

Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden.

So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled.

(-: Keep Smiling :-)

Lessons learnt

2007-10-31T05:09:00.001-07:00

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Five Important Lessons

2007-10-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The MN took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it, if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Interesting Facts

2007-10-25T05:45:00.001-07:00

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes (Pupils) are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

About Orkut and security

2007-10-25T05:30:00.001-07:00

Today in Mumbai Mirror Daily, it is written that so many terrorists and
under world people has got connecting through orkut. Like Dawood
Ibrahim,Chotta Shakkil ...so many people are getting new man power
through Orkut only. The IB has started their investigations. So please
reduce the contacts through Orkut.

It is usual that we receive friend request from unknown people. But if
you actually do not know that person it is good to reject that request.
Because, if one terrorist is found by Police, his entire friend's list
will be carefully followed. And if you are there, you also will be in trouble.

So be careful! Also forward it to all your friends. This information is
true. It is written in the front page of Mumbai Mirror Daily.

You may be thinking that why these people adding so many friends
through orkut. It is simply because to mislead the Police. When they
(Police) get a huge friend list they will be concentrating on them.
They may be innocent people. At that time the real terrorists can
escape. So friends, please forward this information to all you know.

Top 21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad

2007-10-17T05:27:00.001-07:00

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always

speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take

bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says Hey instead of Hi

Says Yogurt instead of Curd

Says Cab instead of Taxi

Says Candy instead of Chocolate

Says Cookie instead of Biscuit

Says ** Free Way ** instead of Highway

Says got to go instead of Have to go

Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says

Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on

complaining about it every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters),

and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as

possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45

times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk

packet.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed),

repeats Zee several times, if the other person

unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee.

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching

traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and **Indian

Road** Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about Jet Lag.

8. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink Diet Coke instead of ** Normal ** Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in ** India ** as if

he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers

of Airways by which he traveled back to ** India **,

even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India ,

tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin conversation with; In US ....or When I

was in US...

Fwd: Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL / TATA-indicom

2007-10-12T22:15:00.001-07:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: AjoyEricLal-at-gmail.com AjoyEricLal-at-gmail.com
Date: 12 Oct 2007 02:31
Subject: Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL
/ TATA-indicom

India's largest ISP ( a provider to TRAI ) continues to take its
customers for a ride...

... well, here's Part 2 of the coverage on TV !!

Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL / TATA-indicom

...and how it is cheating its customers, day in and day out and
refuses to stop doing so!

Also see what TRAI is doing about it.

You are free to circulate this message to whomsoever the content might
benefit (within and outside your organization)... ... or do so simply
if you feel that there is someone curious enough to want to know what
your employer is up to and how the consumer is being cheated... left,
right and centre!

The show's name on CNN-IBN is: "All about the money!" Within that
show there is a segment called "At your service!" being moderated by
Paromita Chatterjee which you must watch.

The 2nd Part will be aired on: Saturday, 13.10.2007 at 18:30 hrs. (6:30 PM), IST

Replay of the of the 2nd Part will be aired on: Sunday, 14.10.2007 at
15:30 hrs. (3:30 PM), IST

If you had missed the 1st Part of the show... no worries: Just watch
it on YouTube, click the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFpWy0ZoC2M

The 2nd Part will with even more revelations. It will have voices from
all over India... it will go one step further...

Starting today, Delhi's local, non-political newspaper called:
"neighbourhood FLASH" has the story on this huge ISP scam as their
cover story. It is currently being distributed to over 2.5 lac English
speaking households in all of South Delhi, Noida and Gurgaon.

For more just Google as follows:

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TATA

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" VSNL

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TATA Indicom

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TRAI

- TATA Indicom Scam

- TATA Indicom on CNN-IBN

... etc. etc. ...

Be amazed and watch what this ISP is doing to us customers!

Best Regards
Ajoy Eric Lal
New Delhi
eMail: AjoyEricLal@gmail.com

Honest interview answers.

2007-10-07T02:27:00.001-07:00

Honest answers:

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you
called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have
any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the
fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to
get more money, so I am here today.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my
job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a
change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.

11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me
20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on
whatever I ask.So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.

Side-effects

2007-08-03T02:38:00.001-07:00

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS
Wa

Do you know?

2007-07-30T10:31:00.001-07:00

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting

VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THINGS

2007-07-25T23:28:00.001-07:00

1) If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side.

If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

2) If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a
human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4) Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is
a thin film of bacteria on it.

5) The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

6) The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7) The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person
looks at something pleasing.

8) The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9) Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10) The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not
the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11) Dalmatians are born without spots.

12) Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13) The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but
for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)

14) Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have
the buttons on the left

15) The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other
birds raise their lower eyelids

16) The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been
digested by a bee

17) Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

18) The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release
calming hormones

19) Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

20) Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

21) The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which
are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

22) When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

23) When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

24) The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a
tomato can for a carburetor

25) The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

26) Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

27) Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of
Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

28) It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to
make a film about it

29) The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

30) There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

31) The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound
of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

32) Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

33) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

34) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

35) Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

36) The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea
in
the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

37) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born,
and 140,000 people die

38) In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is
10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch
(and make it look like it is smiling.)

39) Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking
countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

40) The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its
head are the rabbit and the parrot

41) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair

42) The average person laughs 13 times a day

43) Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:
Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

44) Women blink nearly twice as much as men

45) German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

46) Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

47) Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

48) Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two
thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death

49) If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the
air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause

ATM

2007-07-25T23:27:00.001-07:00

How a man withdraws cash from ATM.
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
----------------------
How a woman withdraws cash from ATM
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for 1/2 mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on.

Smart Barber, Dumb KID

2007-07-25T23:23:00.001-07:00

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

Kid who did not want to go to school

2007-07-25T23:06:00.001-07:00

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your

responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS

2007-07-25T23:03:00.001-07:00

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat
and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're
not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the
first usual questions a guy asks on the
phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to
tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this
makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind!" would make him jump to a
conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're
asking him to do you a favor,
he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay
down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.

28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his
problems with you may end up being
admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily
get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard
for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girl friend after they broke
up especially when they've been together
for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved
with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt,
he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot
more than girls do. They could even
hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,
"Please come and listen to me"

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but
court the girls anyway and then realize at the
end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure
unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way
a girl would do over her romance
novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your
advantage.

72.. Don't be a snob. Guys may eas ily give up on the first sign of
rejection.

73.. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be
surprised.

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than
attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable
decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he
finds them offending and he just tried to
be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is
already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at
fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,
give it to him. But when you catch
him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at
you and it obviously shows that he is
jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your
boy best friend loves you more than
your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls
read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in
front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even
just for one night, hang up. He also tells
that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun
of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your
relationships.

10 Steps To Better Decision Making

2007-07-25T23:01:00.001-07:00

1. Making a difficult choice can seem harrowing when you feel you're working alone. Involve others in your decision making by asking for criticism and seeking advice from those who can approach the choice from a fresh perspective. Listen to opinions that fall on both sides of the topic at hand. You may also want to consult an expert.

2. Learn from your mistakes as well as your triumphs. Examine decisions you have made in the past as they will teach you more than you will learn from most other sources. Though some decisions will not seem important, all decisions shape our lives and should be regarded as educational. Apply that knowledge to your current dilemma.

3. A good decision acted upon in a timely matter is always better than a great one acted upon too late. It is important to recognize that you will never know enough to make the perfect decision. Don't become paralyzed by your need to foresee all possible outcomes to every possible choice.

4. Involve your head and your heart. Ask both practical questions and personal questions about the problem at hand. Considering the facts as well as your feelings (and the feelings of others) when examining your options will ensure that you make a balanced decision.

5. Before anything else, focus on the most basic, necessary results. Often, a decision maker will get bogged down thinking about the non-essential elements of a decision. Avoid considering extraneous factors and far-fetched perfect outcomes. Ask yourself, "What needs to be done?"

6. Consider the entire range of possibilities, no matter how unlikely. When faced with a complex decision, brainstorm by yourself or with others to find as many of the vital elements as possible. Evaluate those elements as they relate to the choice you must make.

7. It was a wise person who noted that, "you can't please all of the people all of the time." Almost all decisions will involve some dissatisfaction or conflict. Some decisions may even create new problems. Once you have made a decision, stand by it. Keep in mind that you have used your best judgment and it was the best choice at the time.

8. Don't waste time on poor choices. Reject poor choices, even if you've begun to implement them, and stop doing the things that aren't working, so you can focus on the solutions that have strong potential.

9. Consult with the people who will be directly affected by your decision. People appreciate being heard and enjoy when their opinions are seen as valuable. Even making a simple choice can have a profound impact on those around you.

10. It is easy to dismiss your intuition, but in doing so, you may be disregarding valuable insight and even solutions. Ask yourself what choices you would make if you weren't afraid and then see what your subconscious offers as an answer. Try to ignore the fear of error when consulting your "gut."

Tongue Twisters

2007-07-25T22:58:00.001-07:00

Peter bought a butter,
The butter Peter bought was bitter,
So Peter Bought A better butter,
To make the bitter butter better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Which witch wished which wicked wish?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Betty Botter had some butter,
But, she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter that would make my batter better.
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
And she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten, By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a sack.

Technically correct!!!

2007-07-22T00:47:00.001-07:00

A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the SEATAC airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!"

Smart Soldiers

2007-07-22T00:43:00.001-07:00

There were three generals, one Chinese, an Iraqi, and a Turk. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.

The Chinaman said, "My army would kill themselves for their country!"

Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, "When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!"

He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.

Next came the Turkish General and he said the same thing to one of his platoons. About seven seconds later they heard gunshots and once again everyone was dead.

Finally came the Iraqi and he did the same to his platoon. Several seconds past and there were no gunshots. They decided to wait a little longer. Then several more seconds past and still no gunshots.

Finally they went in and the whole Iraqi platoon was on the floor blowing under the feather to keep it up.

Trap ???

2007-07-22T00:42:00.001-07:00

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Indian Army soldier is better than fifty Pakistanis."
Furious, the Pakistani commander sends his next best 50 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Indian voice calls out again "One Indian Army soldier is better than one hundred Pakistanis."
The enraged Pakistani Commander musters one hundred of his best fighters and sends then across the dune. Gunfire, grenades, machine gun fire, rockets, etc. ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Pakistani fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his Commander, "Don`t send anymore men, its a trap...there`s two of them!"

Lipstick Problem

2007-07-22T00:32:00.001-07:00

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.

The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...

He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU

2007-07-17T02:01:00.001-07:00

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I
awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS

Standing at the Window

2007-07-17T01:59:00.001-07:00

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen." Then she whispered to him, " Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."

Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck? " So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said,"Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you. "

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.... He has seen your whole life.

He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven

He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave Of you

Who's your Barber?

2007-07-14T11:03:00.001-07:00

A man went to a  barbershop to have his hair cut and
his beard
trimmed.

As the barber  began to work, they began to have a
good
conversation.
They talked about  so many things and various
subjects. When
they eventually touched on  the subject of God, the
barber said: "I
don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?"
asked the
customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to
realize that God
 doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be
so many sick
 people? Would there be abandoned children? If God
existed,
there would  be neither suffering nor pain. I can't
imagine a loving God who
would allow all of these  things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond
because
he
didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished
his job and
the customer left the shop. Just after he left the
barbershop, he saw
a man in  the street with long, stringy, dirty hair
and an untrimmed
 beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

 The customer turned back and entered the barber shop
again
and he said
 to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can
you say
 that?" asked the surprised barber.  "I am here, and I
am a barber.
And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer
exclaimed. "Barbers
don't exist because if they  did, there would be no
people with dirty
long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man
outside." "Ah, but
barbers DO
 exist! That's what happens when people do not come to
me."

"Exactly!", affirmed the customer.  "That's the point!
God, too,
DOES
 exist!  That's what happens when people  do not go to
Him and
don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much
pain and
suffering in the world." If you think God exists, send
this to other people

...If you think God does not exist, delete it!

 BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING

At St. Peter

2007-07-14T10:56:00.001-07:00

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever
> done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
>
> "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "On a trip to
> the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-
> testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed
> them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached
> the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the
> head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it
> on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
>
> St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?" "Just a couple of
> minutes ago..."

On Second thoughts, Did you ever stop and wonder ?

2007-07-14T10:54:00.001-07:00

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?

Never mess with drunkards!

2007-07-14T10:47:00.001-07:00

Two drunks stumble out of a pub in Ireland at about 4:00 in the morning. They stagger to the nearest lamppost and lean against it when along comes a policeman.

 

The first drunk pipes up, "Excuse me, ossifer, but I wonder could you tell me if the last bus to Dublin has left yet." To which the policeman replies "Of course it has. It's 4:00 in the morning."

 

The second drunk then weighs in and says, "Sorry, sir, but I wonder if the last bus to Galway has left yet." The officer again replies "Of course it has. It's 4:00 in the morning."

 

The first drunk then starts up again and asks, "Could you tell me please, ossifer, has the last bus to Cork gone yet."

 

The policeman is really irritated now so he shouts, "It's 4am, all the bloody  buses have gone!"

 

And with that the first drunk turns to his friend and says, "Ok, Mick, we can cross the road now."

Its not a quiz. JUST 1 QUESTION

2007-07-14T10:46:00.001-07:00

 You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy
  night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see
  three people waiting for the bus:
 
  1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
 
  2. An old friend who once saved your life.
 
  3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
 
  Which one would you choose to offer a ride to,
  knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
 
  Think before you continue reading...
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  -
 
  This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once
  actually used as part of a job application.
 
  You could pick up the old lady, because she is going
  to die, and thus you should save her first;
 
  Or you could take the old friend who once
  saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to
  pay back. However, you may never be able to find
  your perfect mate again.
 
  NOW READ THIS:
 
  The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)
  had no trouble coming up with his answer.
 

  "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let to
  take the lady to the hospital.
 
  I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
  partner of my dreams."
 
  Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up
  our stubborn thought limitations.

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will

2007-07-14T10:45:00.001-07:00

1) Grab a calculator. (You wont be able to do this in
your head)
2) Key in the first three digits of your phone number
if ur phone number is 7 digits or else take the first
4 digits of ur number if its 8 digits.(only land line
no.)
(NOT the area code)
3) Multiply by 80
4) Add 1
5) Multiply by 250
6) Add the last four numbers of your phone number
7) Add the last four numbers of your phone number
again
8) Subtract 250
9) Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ?

Twenty Great One Liners................

2007-07-04T22:36:00.001-07:00

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Some Wacky Quotes

2007-07-04T22:34:00.001-07:00

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia!

Jim and Mary

2007-07-04T22:33:00.001-07:00

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom & stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Medical Director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news."
"The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses."
"The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

Vote for TAJ as one of the new 7 Wonders URGENT!!!

2007-06-02T05:28:00.001-07:00

 To vote for the Taj Mahal by SMS FROM INDIA:

send TAJ to 4567

The cost to send an SMS is Rs. 3 for all the following operators Prepaid and  Postpaid: Airtel, Hutch, Spice, Tata Tele, Reliance Info, Reliance GSM, BPL.  Exceptions: Rs. 1: MTNL Prepaid and Postpaid, BSNL Prepaid; Rs. 0.8: BSNL  Postpaid. Only providers indicated above accept voting.

HURRY LAST DATE VERY NEAR. RESULT ON JULY 7th 2007.

OR Visit:

http://www.new7wonders.com

*************

This is issued in public interest by me. For rules etc. go to their website.

BUSH NNN SARDAR JIIII ............READ ...N JOYYYY

2007-06-02T05:17:00.001-07:00

A Sardarji went to US & had a meeting with George

Bush.

Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come

with

me. (He takes him in a deep forest)

Bush: Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)

Bush: more..more..more... (Sardarji went up to 100

feet)

Bush: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.

Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we

used to have telephones. (Sardarji became

frustrated.)

He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush had been in

India

Sardarji: I want to show you our advancement. (The

same, he takes Bush in forest.)

Sardar: dig it. (Bush does.)

Sardar: more...More..More.......... (Bush goes Upto

almost 400 feet...)

Sardarji: try to find something. (Bush tries.)

Sardarji: did you get anything?

Bush: no.

Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to have

wireless Technology

Worried Boss

2007-06-02T05:14:00.001-07:00

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employers home phone number and was greeted with a Child's' whisper.

"Hello"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked

"Yes" whispered the small voice

"May I talk with him?"

"No"

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes"

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No"

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss

Asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes, whispered the boy, "a policeman"

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child

"Busy doing what?"

Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman", came the answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What's that noise?"

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?!", demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?!!."

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

"ME"

Pappu and his teacher

2007-05-26T06:25:00.001-07:00

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?

PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?

PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : PAPPU!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?

PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong

PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".

PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry

tree,

but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish

him?"

PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and

one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at

home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no

longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

Always give money to beggars....

2007-05-26T06:22:00.001-07:00

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The

beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol

muddles the brain and damages the liver".

 The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone". As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit." Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.

Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."

WordPerfect Malfunction!

2007-05-26T06:15:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in  a

long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,

 which was  transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing

the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer

 Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't

 accept anything I

type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it,

 not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator:

 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's

because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked

now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your

computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the

 closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

After 9/11

2007-05-26T06:13:00.001-07:00

>  The prime Minister of China called President Bush to

>  console  him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm

>  sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big

>  tragedy. But in case you are  missing any documents

>  from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

>

>

>  ======================================================

>

>

>  Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

>

>  Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my

>

>  condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many

>  people,

>

>  such great bldgs...

>

>  I would like to ensure that we had nothing in

>  connection

>

>  with that........

>

>  Bush: What buildings? What people??

>

>  Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

>

>  Bush: It's eight in the morning.

>

>  Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

>

>  ======================================================

>

>

>  Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in

>

>

>  and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"

>

>  The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks

>  over

>

>  and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"

>

>  Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"

>

>  The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

>

>  And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14

>  million

>

>  Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

>

>  And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

>

>  Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you

>  no-one

>

>  would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

>

>  =======================================================

>

>

>  Pakistani on the moon:

>

>  Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

>

>  A: Problem...

>

>  Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

>

>  A: Problem...

>

>  Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

>

>  A: Problem...

>

>  Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

>

>  A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!

Good one pls go through

2007-05-26T06:12:00.001-07:00

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and

have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football

banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am

eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the

wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

"REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL."

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it,

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there ."

BE A MILLIONAIRE ...by selling tomatoes

2007-05-26T06:07:00.001-07:00

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR  manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed."He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the

application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US . He started to plan his family's future. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story: M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire....!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Nigerian 419 scam Sample 2.

2007-05-26T06:06:00.001-07:00

FROM:MR MOHAMED MANGU

Asalam Aleykom,

This message might meet you in utmost surprise however,it's just my urgent

need for a foreign partner that made me contact you for this transaction.

I am a banker by profession from DAKAR REPUBLIC OF SENEGAL in west Africa and currently

holding the post of auditing general i discover this deposit in our auditing course.

I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds $36.700.000.00 Million United State Dollars

the deceased client who died in the sharter plane which crashed on mount

kenyan in the kenyan city of sumburu on 21st july,2003 to any foreign account .

You can confirm the genuiness of the deceased death by clicking on this

website: http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/20/kenya.crash/index.html

Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared

between us in the ratio 60/40 if you agree to my business proposal.

Eagerly waiting for your response.

Wassalam.

Mr.Mohamed Mangu

-------------------------

Explore the seven wonders of the world Learn more!

Nigerian 419 scam Sample. (In my inbox)

2007-05-26T06:05:00.001-07:00

Dear .

I am Stella Makoba, aged 21years old the daughter of Late Yusuf Makoba a politician ,gold and diamon merchant from Angola ? I and my mother now residing in Senegal dakar west africa.

As a result of the on-going problem in our country, My mother saddled with problems of her ill-health of protracted diabetes and high blood pressure which is getting of increase in the recent times are looking for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive the sum of US$6.2million on our behalf which we intend to invest in your country.

Due to this crises in my country home town, We managed to sneak out myself and my mother 59 years of age and my kid sister to Dakar senegal for safety.

After the killing of my Father by the rebels, we decided to come down here to Dakar Senegal to secure this deposit , deposited here by my father and to further look for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive these deposit which has being deposited here in Dakar Senegal before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels ? After contacting the finance firm here in senegal they have agreed to transfer the fund .

I feel confident therefore to introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all properties burnt by the rebels.

I am desperately in need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth remaining for the future survival and well being of my family.

For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to this problem.

I pray and plead for your help. Please endavour to email me back for further clarifications over this issue.

God bless you as you respond to our plea for assistance.

Sincerely yours.

Stella And Mother .

----------------------------------------------------------------

This is exactly what I received to the Sneakemail e-mail address on my blog. This makes me emphasize that we should not display our primary e-mail id's on the web. Such spammers have bots crawling the net for e-mail id's.

Never tell lies to ur MOM..........??????

2007-05-26T05:07:00.001-07:00

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl

roommate Ishita

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how

pretty Kumar's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this

had

only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she

started

to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the

eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be

thinking, but I assure you, Ishita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Ishita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother

came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate.

You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but

I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not

saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains

that

it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Ishita, and I'm not saying that

you

'do not' sleep with Ishita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping

in

her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the

pillow...

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

2007-05-26T05:06:00.001-07:00

This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

Missing thos school days..

Remembering my class mates, after few years,

My eyes were filled with tears,

Everyone now is busy a lot,

No one escaped destiny's plot

Saw the girl, whom once i thought as my best frnd,

Oops! today she is somebody else's girlfrnd,

After months remembered about her for a little while,

Heard she is happy,that made me smile.

Project reviews to campus interviews,

Nicknames to last bench games,

Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,

Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything is fresh in our mind,

Wish life could just rewind,

Let's laugh, play & rejoice,

Once again become school/college guys.

Chatting & laughing. We all were in elation,

Till the painful moments of seperation,

When it was time to part,

We returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,

And too many worries,

But those cherished moments,

Will live forever in our memories!!!

The Bridge

2007-05-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

A Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was
kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please
hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl
said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the
puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I
may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no
matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." In any
relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them
to hold urs... This msg is too short..........but carries a lot of
feeling......

Why I modified the template? TO SAVE ENERGY!

2007-05-24T03:12:00.000-07:00

This is not a joke. But recently I was convinced that using a darker (preferably black) colour on computer monitors saves a little energy. The links that argue this case are given below.
For the skeptics one of the links is to a Government Department of Energy Website. Of course these savings are ONLY on CRT monitors.
Please e-mail/comment in case any post on this blog is difficult to read due to the darker colour scheme.

http://www.risingphoenixdesign.com/blackback.html
http://www.microtech.doe.gov/EnergyStar/info.htm
http://ecoiron.blogspot.com/2007/01/magic-color.html
http://ecoiron.blogspot.com/2007/01/black-pixels-are-new-green-pixels.html
http://ecoiron.blogspot.com/2007/01/black-google-would-save-3000-megawatts.html
http://black-google.blogspot.com/ The Google Search Engine in Black

11 Truths

2007-05-23T01:20:00.001-07:00

1.A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells

her  that “she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED”.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their

friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best

Woman.

Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?

It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your

Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a

forest.

They see an ELEPHANT comingt owards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL

him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will

just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him

because he is ALONE and we areF OUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in

your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in

your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you

from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please

PAY the  ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as per

Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST [Please forward it to as many people as po...

2007-05-22T04:09:00.001-07:00

ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST PASS IT TO AS MANY AS YOU CAN

BEWARE OF THESE BANKS
Looking at the rising complaints against ICICI Bank , Citibank, and Standard Chartered Bank , we request consumers to properly read their documents and keep a record when dealing with these banks, especially regarding credit card and housing loan. These three banks are biggest defaulters and do not resolve consumer problems easily. Be aware of their terms in writing. Keep a perfect record of all correspondence with them. If they do not agree to written communication , immediately stop their services . If you ask some nationalised bank to take over the housing loan from ICICI Bank, even after paying full amount, you will not get back your original documents for months. You will be told that the documents are in Mumbai and they are trying to retrieve the same. This is the answer you get everyday.

BEWARE OF NOKIA
Nokia assures that their handset is covered under insurance. They even provide a certificate of insurance. But the condition is that if the handset is lost/stolen, you have to lodge an FIR to seek claims. The catch here is that the police station does not lodge FIR for loss of handsets, they only register NC. So you will never get insurance claims on basis of NC.

Nokia is selling some of its degraded products that have software problems. If you come across such problem in a new set, do not waste your time in running around service centres as it is not going to help much, ask for a replacement with a new set. All those who have purchased 3230 set, have experienced that there was software problem in every set. Nokia is simply dumping the sets, which can not be sold in other countries.

BEWARE OF AIR DECCAN
Their confirmed bookings are highly unreliable and of no guarantee that you will be allowed to fly . The booked tickets get cancelled without intimation to consumer only to be known by him when he goes to the airport to catch his flight. You will not get refund immediately, if you have booked your ticket through credit card. If you call up their call centre, if you press numbers relating to refund, you will not be attended at all even if you try for hours together. If you talk to somebody regarding refund, you have to press options relating to ticket booking, so that someone will attend to you. Then you can ask for refund. They are following very good trick.

BEWARE OF COUNTRY CLUB, BANGALORE
They advertise that if you take their membership, a plot of land will be given free of cost near Golden Spa at Coconut Grove. Please note Golden Spa is 35 Kms from Bangalore and the said plot of land is over 100 Kms from Bangalore . Based on false promises and with arrangement with Citibank and ICICI Bank, this team cheats the consumers of his money by asking payments through credit card.

BEWARE OF PRIVATE BUS OPERATORS/TRAVEL AGENTS
If you book your ticket in a private bus operator, you will find that your seat is allotted to somebody else also. Many a times, though you have booked your ticket to some destination, you will dropped few kilometres away, if there are not enough passengers for your destination. Then you will have to depend on other services to reach your destination. Keep the records/proofs and give a complaint to the nearest police station, when you come back. If you find that the police is supporting the travel agent, immediately inform his higher ups or give a complaint to consumer forum. Always try to use government transportation services. They may be bad in service but will never cheat you.

BOOK TELESALES & RECOVERY AGENTS
If you receive unwanted advertisement / telemarketing call from any company or recovery agents. You will find it annoying especially when you are on roaming network. Ask their telephone number and report to the police. File a police complaint against the Chairman of the company .

BEWARE OF SOME HOSPITALS
If you happen to get admitted (or admit your family person/friend/ relative) for any operation in any hospital, keep all the records. Even if the doctor scribbles any information on a piece of paper and give it you, please keep it with you. In future, for your bad luck, if some adverse thing happens due to wrong dialysis or wrong operation, these things will come handy to fight it in a court. Please be clear that consumer forums are not of much help to you because they do not have good doctors in their panel. Many a times they do not have any doctors in their panel and even if they have, a doctor in the panel will try to help a doctor. In such a case you will have to fight tooth and nail. Hence keep all the records/proofs with you carefully.

BEWARE OF TATA INDICOM BROADBAND and WIRELESS FIXED TELEPHONE
Their promises to get you a broadband connection within a week is not to be relied upon. Once your money is stuck (about Rs. 2000), it takes lot of pains to recover it back. If you book Wireless fixed telephone, the Tata indicom sales person will tell you that you can send/receive fax, send/receive e-mails in other service providers' account also (for example vsnl, touchtel etc). Once you install the telephone, you will find that the instrument can not support fax machine even if connected through EPABX, you will find that you can receive e-mails in other accounts and can not send e-mails at all. You have to send e-mails only through Tataindicom e-mail service.

CAREFUL WHEN DEALING WITH THESE COMPANIES / PRODUCTS
LIST OF WORST COMPANIES AGAINST WHOM WE RECEIVE COMPLAINTS VERY FREQUENTLY

AIRLINES: Air Deccan
BANKS: ICICI bank, Citibank, Standard Chartered Bank
BUILDERS: Parimiti Buildcon (Thane), Madras City Co-op Bldg. Soc (Chennai)
CARS: Tata motors, Maruthi
CREDIT CARDS: SBI credit card, Citibank, Standard Chartered
CELLPHONE SERVICES: Tata Indicom Broadband, Airtel, BPL mobile
HOME APPLIANCES: Videocon,
HOME BUSINESS: Kenya Star Tea
INSURANCE: National Insurance Co., New India Assurance, generally all private/Multination al Insurance Companies
MOBILE PHONES: Nokia 6260, 3230
TIMESHARE: Royal Goan Beach Club (Goa), Happy Home Constructions (Bangalore), Country Club India Ltd. (Bangalore)
TRANSPORTERS: Sky Packers and Movers (Mumbai), Packways Pvt. Ltd.(Mumbai) , Sai Packers and Movers (Mumbai)

ARE U BEING HARASSED BY CONSUMER COURTS?

WE ARE GATHERING INFORMATION ON CORRUPT JUDGES, REGISTRARS & CLERKS
We have received many complaints from consumers that they are being harassed in the consumer courts when they go there to submit consumer complaint and attend hearings. They are not being served properly by the clerks, and the judges keep on giving hearing dates without arriving to judgment. These acts are contrary to the purpose of setting up of consumer courts that were basically meant to help the consumers. Please inform us if you have experienced or witnessed harassment or corruption. Inform us the exact time, date, and location of the incident in writing through duly signed letter. Your details will not be disclosed on this website, but you should be ready to co-operate when action against these people is initiated by nabbing them through proper channel.

For further clarifications you may contact:
Sri.ARUN SAXENA
International Consumer Rights Protection Council
B-9/55, Vijay Nagari,
P.O . Kasarvadavali,
Thane (West) 400601
Mumbai - India .

An 80 year old man and his Crow

2007-05-22T04:03:00.001-07:00

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45

years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when

he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the

same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT

IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old

tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening

a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the

following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a

crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and

I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly

each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I

did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had

felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when

today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt

irritated and annoyed.

So..

If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a

burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and

kind to them.Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will

say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Thanks for spending ur time on reading this mail ...... Hope U r forwarding this to all ur friends as well...

Ordering Pizza in 2020

2007-05-11T05:29:00.001-07:00

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how  much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last year.

That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a

Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're  also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

US Air Force pilots vs maintenance crews

2007-05-04T23:15:00.001-07:00

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Nice Facts!

2007-05-04T23:11:00.001-07:00

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in
the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

Clans
of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without
killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to
get fired."

Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

Only
two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The
term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South
Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber
machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded
into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it
got "the whole 9 yards."

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

Until
1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The
conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic
stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to
prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and
been too sleepy to realize that *this* was the day of the changeover.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice."

In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam."

Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

The
term, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" is from
Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, "No eye
gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be
disqualified was to poke someone's eye out.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

The
phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated
that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds!

Source:http://elaughs.blogspot.com

The Best Moments In Life

2007-05-04T22:51:00.001-07:00

The Best Moments In Life

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.

3. Enjoying a ride down the ocuntry side.

4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.

5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.

6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.

7. Passing your final exams with good grades.

8. Being part of an interesting conversation.

9. Finding some money in some old pants.

10.... Laughing at yourself.

11.... Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.

12.... Laughing without a reason.

13.... "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you.

14.... Watching the sunset.

15.... Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.

16. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone.

1 7  . Having a great time with your friends.

1 8  . Seeing the one you love happy.

1 9   . Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.

20 . Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.

21 . Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU"

"True friends come in the good times when we tell hem to, and come in the bad times.....without calling."

Send
this forward to all of the people you count as friends or someone
special in your life if you think this email will make them smile.

If you are a true friend you'll SEND this back to the one who sent it to u.

Why the British Left India?

2007-04-20T03:02:00.001-07:00

Why the British left India?

Why Lord Mount Batten decided to leave India?

..............................................

..........................................

.....................................

................................

............................

........................

...................

...............

............

..........

.......

.....

....

..

.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF

SUBHASH CHANDRA BHOSE

OR BHAGATH SINGH

OR GANDHI ..... IT'S BECAUSE ..............................

..............................................

..........................................

.....................................

................................

............................

........................

...................

...............

............

..........

.......

.....

....

..

.

The People are: Lord Mount Batten(left) Nehru(Second from Right) and Mrs. Mount Batten(right)

(Just reposted this from the February Archive as I noticed that the Image in the february post hadn't uploaded properly!)

Life Is A Gift

2007-04-20T02:42:00.001-07:00

Today before you think of saying an unkind word -

Think of someone who can’t speak.

Today before you complain about life -

Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -

Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -

Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -

Put a smile on your face and thank God you’re alive and still around.

Life is a gift, Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, And fulfill it.

Lucky Patient?

2007-04-20T02:41:00.001-07:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man
was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help
drain the fluid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room’s only
window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The
men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families,
their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service,
where they had been on vacation.

 

Every afternoon when the man
in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by
describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the
window.

 

The man in the other bed began to live for those one
hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all
the activity and color of the world outside.

 

The window
overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the
water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm
in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city
skyline could be seen in the distance.

 

 As the man by the
window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other
side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

 

 One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

 

 Although
the other man couldn’t hear the band - he could see it in his mind’s
eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

 

Days and weeks passed….

 

 

One
morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths, only to
find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died
peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

 

As soon as it seemed
appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the
window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure
he was comfortable, she left him alone.

 

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

 

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

 

 It
faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled
his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside
this window

 

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

 

 She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

 

Epilogue:

 

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

 

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

 

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

 

“Today is a gift, that’s why it is called the present.”

The Cookie Regret

2007-04-20T02:36:00.001-07:00

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.

As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.

She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.

Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading. 

When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought:

“What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!”

For each cookie she took, the man took one too.

This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.

When only one cookie remained, she thought: “ah… What this abusive man do now?”

Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.

Ah! That was too much!

She was much too angry now!

In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.

When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her
purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of
cookies was there, untouched, unopened!

She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong…

She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.

The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter.

…while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her
cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself…nor to
apologize.”

There are 4 things that you cannot recover.

The stone…

…after the throw!

The word…

…after it’s said!

The occasion…

… after the loss!

The time…

…after it’s gone!

The Wedding Gift

2007-04-20T02:27:00.001-07:00

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.

They
reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father
and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering
what was given to the father by bride.

The father could feel the
suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and
say something. So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the
luckiest day of my life." Then he raises his hands with what his
daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned
my credit card to me."

The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor groom.

A SHORT LOVE STORY:

2007-04-20T02:26:00.001-07:00

there was a blind girl who hate herself because of being blind. she hate

everyone except her boy friend.. one day the girl said that if she can

only

see the world she will marry her boyfriend, one day someone donated

eyes on

her and then she saw every thing including her boyfriend , her

boyfriend ask

her, "now that you can see, will you marry me?", the girl was shocked

when

she saw her boyfriend is also blind, and she refuse to marry him. Her

boyfriend walk away with tears and said, " just take care of my eyes

dear.ok........

2 lane or 4 lane?

2007-04-10T05:45:00.001-07:00

A  man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a

sudden he said out loud,

"Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord

said,

"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant

you one wish".

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I

want to."

The Lord said,

"Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that

kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the

Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is

hard

for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more

time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and

glorify

me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I

have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I

am

uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want

to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me

the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say

'nothing' and how I can make a woman truly happy."

After a few minutes God said,

"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Top 10 Heights

2007-04-05T21:48:00.001-07:00

1. What is height of Fashion?

A. Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?

A. Offering blank visiting cards.

3. What is height of Activelaziness?

A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

5. What is height of Craziness?

A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?

A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?

A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?

A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?

A. A cow giving milk powder

Best rejections........part I

2007-02-15T23:03:00.001-08:00

Here are the top most reply of a girl, when you propose her...

1) Nahi.................???

2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare.......

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5 ) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai…??

8) Magar last year to maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu…??

11) Itni si baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "……Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai….. L……………………………"

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you … (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " …
(Which we guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya ab tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki… (probably
followed by a slap)

20) Girl: mujhe sochna ka wakt do…
Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)
Girl: saat janam

21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon…

23) Now that's a real tragedy….
Girl: Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……
Hee hee ……hee hee hee…..hee ….hee……hee……

24) Boy: I love U!
Gal: I don't think abt all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho…

27) Kaun sa number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein.
Ha ha ha ha….

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina ne "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

Don't Drink & Drive

2007-02-09T09:21:00.001-08:00

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Someone took the effort to write this poem. So please, forward this to
as many as u can...............

Thanking all those who sent me mails in 2006

2007-02-09T09:17:00.001-08:00

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown
people who have
forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005 and
2006.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that
it's good only for
removing
toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a
needle infected
with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using
deodorants because they
cause
cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they
may ask me to
dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell
with calls to
Uganda ,
Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I
will get
sick from
the rat shit and urine.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce
account. A sick girl
that was
about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor
girl! she's been
7 since
1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the
free passes for a
paid
vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai
Lama, Ganesh
Vandana,
Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..

Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to
someone else)!

and trust me i have died 1000 times coz of those forwarded msgs stating
"u will die if u dont forward this" ...
so, listen to this ghost and...

You can add your own notes based on your similar
experience and send
them to
your friends.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT
PLEASE DON'T SEND me
"Orkut is
deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise
I'll delete my
E-Mail
account!
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760
people in the next 10
seconds,
a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m.

Gimi a Break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 rules for Good student

2007-02-09T09:15:00.001-08:00

5 rules for Good student
**************************

1) Never make noise in class respect the fact that others are sleeping.
************************************************************************

2) Keep the college clean so stay away.
****************************************

3) Take some fruits for the animals in the staff room.
********************************************************

4) Always take books cos u dnt get pillow to help u sleep well.
*****************************************************************

5) Never be early to class or else no one will notice u.
**********************************************************

Anyone,Someone and Sorry!

2007-02-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone.You can speak to
me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But
what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is
beingsent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the
hospital.
Operator : Look, if no onewas injured and no onewas sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this
hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..
Caller: Oh ......God!!!

Free Pizza..Please spend some time

2007-01-31T02:47:00.001-08:00

Recently in The Times of India there was an article / advertisement
about Pizza delivery Companies which guarantees you free pizza
if they fail to deliver within the specified time (like 30 minutes).
Have you ever wondered who pays for the free pizzas??

Well, the delivery boy is made to pay for the pizza. They are paid
such low wages and the price of the pizza is deducted from their
monthly wages which can amount to up to 60% in some months (It becomes
difficult to run their family). To deliver the pizzas the delivery
boys take high traffic risks as delivery becomes their priority. Their
life and safety risks are neither looked into by the Pizza Shop
Management nor the Pizza Delivery Boy himself. (They are more
concerned to avoid the deduction from their salary).

If this type of exploitation is carried on in your city's pizza
logistics we should stop availing the home delivery system, because to
deliver our pizza one person may be risking his life. Is the life of
an Indian citizen so cheap and of no value? In case he is late in
delivering the pizza, we are enjoying the free pizza at the hard
earned money of a poor delivery boy.

Is it fair or right on our part to do it?

As a human, please think and if you feel that this is wrong, please
spread the message and stop having the so called FREE pizzas delivered
at home.

Mahabharat Katha ...

2007-01-31T02:36:00.001-08:00

In some remote village of India, one masterji is
teaching the
Mahabharat Katha to class 6 students. He is at the
krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's
8th child
is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to
put vasudev
n devki behind the bars.

First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...
Second
one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak.
Third one
is born."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his
hand.
Masterji, I have a doubt(sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt
in
Mahabharata Then how come u have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child
was going
to kill him,WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND
DEVAKI IN THE
SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.........................

When Amitabh Bachhan got fit after his long illness...

2007-01-31T02:34:00.001-08:00

This is when Amitabh Bachhan got fit after his long illness.....

one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum
chalayenge..".

Driver: "Par saab aapki tabyat?.."

Amitabh: "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya
dance
karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.....Hain"

Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom

breaks one red signal.........

breaks second red signal..........

breaks on more red signal............

Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the driver to move the
car
to the roadside.

Hawaldar: "Chalo liscence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..."

Sees Amitabh and says, "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to
see him.......

Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....

Hawaldar: "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."

Sir: "Kyun kya hua??"

Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side
me
rakha he"

Sir: "To phir?"

Hawaldar: "SIr, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein
uska
challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye ."

Sir: "KON MAALIK HAI US GAADI KA??"

HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE HAI NA SIR ... AMITABH
BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HAI...."

Yoga vs. beer: Who wins?

2007-01-28T22:12:00.001-08:00

Yoga VS. Beer. Who WIns?
Pic 1: it takes years of practice to do this asana.

Pic2: it takes only 8 pegs of whiskey to do the above asana.

so why practice. just have BEER

--
*********************************************************************************
http://outspoken-myinbox.blogspot.com
*********************************************************************************

Check this out! Water or Coke?

2007-01-27T21:11:00.001-08:00

WATER

#1. 75% of people are chronically dehydrated.

#2. In 37% of people, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is
mistaken for hunger.

#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for
almost 100% of dieters

#5. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day
could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of
sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory,
trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer
screen or on a printed page.

#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon
cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%.,
and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking
the amount of water you should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in
the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone
in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl
and let the "real thing" sit for one hour,
then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with
a rumpled-up piece of aluminum foil dipped inCoca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of
Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubbleaway the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the
rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan,
wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.
Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the
drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into the load
of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The
Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road
haze from your windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1. the active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve
a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from
bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of
osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial trucks
must use a hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly
corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean engines of
the trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water? or Coke?

Someone sent you a video about the iPhone

2007-01-26T23:20:00.001-08:00

YouTube Broadcast Yourself™

I want to share the following video with you:

Video Description

It's much more than just a phone! Check out some of its additional functions.

Personal Message

This video is awesome!

Thanks,
someone

Using YouTube

YouTube Help
Check the Help Center for answers to common questions.

Your Account Settings
To change your preferences, settings, or personal info, go to the 'My Account' section .

Email Notifications
To change or cancel email notifications from YouTube, go to the Email Options section of your Profile.

What Happens in Heaven

2007-01-22T02:35:00.001-08:00

What Happens in Heaven

This is one of the nicest mails I have seen and is so true:

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel

was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom
filled

with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of

the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here,

all petitions to God said in prayer are received."

I looked around in this area, and it was

terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on
voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until

we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, "This

is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings
the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons
who asked for them."

I noticed again how busy it was there.

There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many
blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the

long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my
great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This
is the Aknowledgment Section,"

my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He

seemed embarrassed "How is it that? There's no work going on here?" I
asked.

"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people

receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back
acknowledgments.

"How does one acknowledge God's

blessings?" I asked.

"Simple," the angel answered.

"Just say, "Thank you, God."

"What blessings should they acknowledge?"

I asked.

"If you have food in the refrigerator,

clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are
richer

than 75% of this world. "If you have money in

the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the
top 8% of the world's wealthy.

"And if you get this on your

own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that
opportunity."

Also ....

"If you woke up this morning

with more health than illness .... you are more blessed than the many
who

will not even survive this day.

"If you have never experienced

the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of
torture,

the pangs of starvation .. you are ahead

of 700 million people in the world.

"If you can attend a prayer meeting

without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied
by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.

If you can hold your head up and smile,

you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair."

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you

just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as

very special and you are more blessed than

over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings,

and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we
all are.

Attn: Acnowledgment Dept:

Thank You God!Thank you God, for giving me the ability to share this
message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share

it with".

What an Excuse!

2007-01-22T02:31:00.001-08:00

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above
the speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police
car with its red lights.

He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors it.
The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour.
Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can`t
outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb.

The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car.

He leans down and says "Listen mister, I`ve had a really lousy day,
and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I`ll let you
go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran
off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view
mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her
back to me!"

too funny.........

2007-01-12T06:30:00.000-08:00

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to
wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... ......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....
"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL !!"

Fwd: some of you might find these funny

2006-12-22T20:10:00.001-08:00

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man
tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are
CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not
their
friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and
Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all
your
Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should
KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we
will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE
him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing
in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing
in
your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their
MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free
you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -
Please

PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because
as per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

Differences between Real and Fake Friends!

2006-12-08T20:38:00.001-08:00

Differences between Real and Fake Friends!

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was
wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we screwed up ...
but it was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your things so long that they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is
doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: will talk behind your back to the person who is abusing
you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them out!

FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will send this to all there real friends........