1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day
internationals
are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses
his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from
the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing
through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power .
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,nobody listens
&
everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling
you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not
read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sitto
decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in
such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel
Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"
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