Friday, November 24, 2006

best reply to a breakup letter.............

Best Breakup Letter EVER!!
>
>A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from
>his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
>
>Dear Ricky,
>I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us
>is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice,
>since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
>I'm sorry.
>Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
>
>Love, Becky…………..
>
>The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
>snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or
>ex-girlfriends.
>In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
>pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There
>were 57 photos in that envelope….along with this note:
>...
>...
>Dear Becky,
>I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the
>hell you are.
>Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to
>me.
>
>Take Care,
>Ricky

It's too hilarious.....(no offence or personal references intended)

Women oh Women!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you
wish for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's
okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make
your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women
will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you.

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack!!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.


Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop
here and continue feeling good.....


Male readers: Please scroll down

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it only goes to
show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after our
advise to stop!HaHa

Fwd: her diary v/s his diary.....

Subject: : her diary v/s his diary.....


HER DIARY:
Day night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet
at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all
day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit
late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I
suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed
but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it
was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with
me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he
simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I
don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted
nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV, he
seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10
minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had
fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what
to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My
life is a disaster.
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HIS DIARY
Today India lost the cricket match. DAMN IT.

Fwd: SOFTWARE - BARBER

There was a good old barber in Bangalore . One day a
florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the
barber
and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am
doing
a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his
door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to
pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is
happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at
his
door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the
barber
again refuses the money saying that it was a community
service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, guess what he finds there......

Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ...
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(Believe me it's worth it!!!!!!!!!! )
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free
haircut... with Printouts of
Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Important!

Carefully read true story.


Date: Mon, 25 Sep 2006 15:18:47 +0530
1.) This is a true story, it has been confirmed, the Medical Centre
phone number at the end of this story is real.
This guy went out on a Saturday night a few weeks ago to a party. He
was having a good time and had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to
like him & invited him to go to another party.
He quickly agreed & decided to go along with her. She took him to a
party in some apartment and they continued to drink & even got involved
with some drug (unknown). The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked
in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the
drugs, but looked around to see he was alone.
He looked down at his chest, which had CALL 000 or YOU'LL DIE"
written on it with lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub so
he Picked it up & dialled. He explained to the EMS operator what the
situation was & that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was
really calling. She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and he
appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, he found two 9
inch slits on his lower back.
She told him to get back into = the tub immediately, and they sent a
rescue team over. Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of
what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They were worth
$10,000 each on the black market. He is currently in the hospital on
a life support, awaiting a spare kidney.
I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business
travellers. This ring is well organized and well funded, has very
skilled personnel & is currently operating in most major cities around the
world and recently very active in Sydney. The crime begins when a business
traveller goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day. A
person in the bar walks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a
drink. The last thing the traveler remembers until they wake up in a hotel room
bathtub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that
drink. There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and
to call 000. A phone is on the small table next to the bathtub for them to
call. The business traveller calls 000 who have been quite familiar with
this crime.The business traveller is instructed by the 000 operator to
very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel there is a tube
protruding from the back. The business traveller finds the tube and answers
"YES". The 000 operator tells them to remain still, having already sent
paramedics to help. The Operator knows that both of the traveller's kidneys had
been harvested. This is not a scam or out of science fiction novel. It is
real. It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to
you travels, please be careful. Sadly, this is very true.
I REALLY WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLE SO PLEASE
BOUNCE THIS
TO WHOEVER YOU CAN.
Michele Shafer
ML/Lab Administration
Medical Manager Research & Development
99 Missenden RD , Camperdown, Sydney 2000
Tel:(029)5156111;Fax:(029)4621505

2. I was approached yesterday afternoon around 3.30 pm in the Car
parking lot by two males, asking what kind of perfume I was wearing. Then
they asked if I'd like to sample some fabulous Scent they were willing to
sell me at a very reasonable rate. I probably would have agreed had I not
received an email some weeks ago, warning of this scam.
The men continued to stand between parked cars, I guess to wait for
someone else to hit on. I stopped a lady going towards them, I pointed at
them and told her about how I was sent an email at Work
about someone walking up to you at the malls, in parking lots, and
Asking you to sniff perfume that they are selling at a cheap price.

THIS IS NOT PERFUME - IT IS ETHER!

When you sniff it, you'll pass out and they'll take Your wallet,
your valuables, and heaven knows what else. If it were not for this
email, I probably would have sniffed the "perfume", but thanks to the
generosity of an emailing friend, I was spared whatever might Have
happened to me,
and wanted to do the same for you.

LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS, YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, CO-WORKERS,

If we were in Pakistan

If we were in Pakistan, our options for professional courses after Std. XII
would be as follows :

JEE - Jehadic Entrance Examination

IIT - Islamic Institute of Terrorism

IIM - Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT - Career in Alqaida & Taliban

IAS - Iraq after Saddam

M Tech - Masters in Terror Technology

GATE - General Aptitude in Terror and Extremism

TOEFL - Test of Extremist Foreign Languages

GRE - Graduate in Relocation Extremism

MBBS - Master of Bomb Blasting Strategies

MBA - Master of Bombing Administration

--
*********************************************************************************
http://outspoken-thirdview.blogspot.com

http://outspoken-betterindia.blogspot.com
*********************************************************************************

check this out.

>
>At the end of this message, you are asked a question.
>
>Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it.
>
>Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
>
>
>This is a fun "test"... AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a
>try, then e-mail it around (including back to me) and you'll see how
>many people you know fall into the same percentage as you. Be sure to
>put
>in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%. You'll
>understand what that means after you finish taking the "test."
>
>Now - just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.
>
>
>
>Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous
>one..
>
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>
>You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using
>your mind.
>
>
>You'll be surprised.
>
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>
>Start:
>
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>How much is:
>15 + 6
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>I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's! nearly over..
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>Come on, one more! ...
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>You just thought about a red hammer , didn't you?
>
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>If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a
>different, if not abnormal, mind.
>
>98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.
>
>If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.
>
>Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the
>2%[:P]

Sunday, November 05, 2006

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.


2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and
you
turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

11. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this
list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!! And Yes, I
was
laughing and I did scroll back to see that there wasn't a #9