Saturday, May 26, 2007

Pappu and his teacher


TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER : What are you talking about?

PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !


TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?



TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?


TEACHER : No, that's wrong

PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".

PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry


but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish


PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and

one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at



TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !


TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no

longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

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Always give money to beggars....

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The

beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol

muddles the brain and damages the liver".

 The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone". As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit." Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.

Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."

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WordPerfect Malfunction!

Dear Friends

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in  a

long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,

 which was  transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing

the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer

 Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):


Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't

 accept anything I


Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it,

 not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."


 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way


Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's

because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked

now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your

computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the


Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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After 9/11

>  The prime Minister of China called President Bush to

>  console  him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm

>  sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big

>  tragedy. But in case you are  missing any documents

>  from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."



>  ======================================================



>  Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:


>  Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my


>  condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many

>  people,


>  such great bldgs...


>  I would like to ensure that we had nothing in

>  connection


>  with that........


>  Bush: What buildings? What people??


>  Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?


>  Bush: It's eight in the morning.


>  Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!


>  ======================================================



>  Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in



>  and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"


>  The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks

>  over


>  and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"


>  Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"


>  The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"


>  And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14

>  million


>  Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."


>  And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"


>  Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you

>  no-one


>  would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"


>  =======================================================



>  Pakistani on the moon:


>  Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!

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Good one pls go through

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and

have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football

banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am

eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the

wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it,

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there ."

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BE A MILLIONAIRE selling tomatoes

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR  manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed."He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the

application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US . He started to plan his family's future. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story: M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire....!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

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Nigerian 419 scam Sample 2.


Asalam Aleykom,

This message might meet you in utmost surprise however,it's just my urgent

need for a foreign partner that made me contact you for this transaction.

I am a banker by profession from DAKAR REPUBLIC OF SENEGAL in west Africa and currently

holding the post of auditing general i discover this deposit in our auditing course.

I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds $36.700.000.00 Million United State Dollars

the deceased client who died in the sharter plane which crashed on mount

kenyan in the kenyan city of sumburu on 21st july,2003 to any foreign account .

You can confirm the genuiness of the deceased death by clicking on this


Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared

between us in the ratio 60/40 if you agree to my business proposal.

Eagerly waiting for your response.


Mr.Mohamed Mangu


Explore the seven wonders of the world Learn more!

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Nigerian 419 scam Sample. (In my inbox)

Dear .

I am Stella Makoba, aged 21years old the daughter of Late Yusuf Makoba a politician ,gold and diamon merchant from Angola ? I and my mother now residing in Senegal dakar west africa.

As a result of the on-going problem in our country, My mother saddled with problems of her ill-health of protracted diabetes and high blood pressure which is getting of increase in the recent times are looking for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive the sum of US$6.2million on our behalf which we intend to invest in your country.

Due to this crises in my country home town, We managed to sneak out myself and my mother 59 years of age and my kid sister to Dakar senegal for safety.

After the killing of my Father by the rebels, we decided to come down here to Dakar Senegal to secure this deposit , deposited here by my father and to further look for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive these deposit which has being deposited here in Dakar Senegal before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels ? After contacting the finance firm here in senegal they have agreed to transfer the fund .

I feel confident therefore to introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all properties burnt by the rebels.

I am desperately in need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth remaining for the future survival and well being of my family.

For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to this problem.

I pray and plead for your help. Please endavour to email me back for further clarifications over this issue.

God bless you as you respond to our plea for assistance.

Sincerely yours.

Stella And Mother .


This is exactly what I received to the Sneakemail e-mail address on my blog. This makes me emphasize that we should not display our primary e-mail id's on the web. Such spammers have bots crawling the net for e-mail id's.

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Never tell lies to ur MOM..........??????

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl

roommate Ishita

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how

pretty Kumar's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this


only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she


to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the


Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be

thinking, but I assure you, Ishita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Ishita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother

came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate.

You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but

I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not

saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains


it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Ishita, and I'm not saying that


'do not' sleep with Ishita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping


her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the




Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

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This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

Missing thos school days..

Remembering my class mates, after few years,

My eyes were filled with tears,

Everyone now is busy a lot,

No one escaped destiny's plot

Saw the girl, whom once i thought as my best frnd,

Oops! today she is somebody else's girlfrnd,

After months remembered about her for a little while,

Heard she is happy,that made me smile.

Project reviews to campus interviews,

Nicknames to last bench games,

Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,

Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything is fresh in our mind,

Wish life could just rewind,

Let's laugh, play & rejoice,

Once again become school/college guys.

Chatting & laughing. We all were in elation,

Till the painful moments of seperation,

When it was time to part,

We returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,

And too many worries,

But those cherished moments,

Will live forever in our memories!!!

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Bridge

A Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was
kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please
hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl
said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the
puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I
may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no
matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." In any
relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them
to hold urs... This msg is too short..........but carries a lot of

Why I modified the template? TO SAVE ENERGY!

This is not a joke. But recently I was convinced that using a darker (preferably black) colour on computer monitors saves a little energy. The links that argue this case are given below.
For the skeptics one of the links is to a Government Department of Energy Website. Of course these savings are ONLY on CRT monitors.
Please e-mail/comment in case any post on this blog is difficult to read due to the darker colour scheme. The Google Search Engine in Black

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

11 Truths

1.A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells

her  that “she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED”.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their


5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best


Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.


6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?

It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your


7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a


They see an ELEPHANT comingt owards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL


Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will

just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him

because he is ALONE and we areF OUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in

your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in

your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you

from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please


11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because as per

Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

ISSUED IN PUBLIC INTEREST [Please forward it to as many people as po...



Looking at the rising complaints against
ICICI Bank , Citibank, and Standard Chartered Bank , we request consumers to properly read their documents and keep a record when dealing with these banks, especially regarding credit card and housing loan. These three banks are biggest defaulters and do not resolve consumer problems easily. Be aware of their terms in writing. Keep a perfect record of all correspondence with them. If they do not agree to written communication , immediately stop their services . If you ask some nationalised bank to take over the housing loan from ICICI Bank, even after paying full amount, you will not get back your original documents for months. You will be told that the documents are in Mumbai and they are trying to retrieve the same. This is the answer you get everyday.


Nokia assures that their handset is covered under insurance. They even provide a certificate of insurance. But the condition is that if the handset is lost/stolen, you have to lodge an FIR to seek claims. The catch here is that the police station does not lodge FIR for loss of handsets, they only register NC. So you will never get insurance claims on basis of NC.

Nokia is selling some of its degraded products that have software problems. If you come across such problem in a new set, do not waste your time in running around service centres as it is not going to help much, ask for a replacement with a new set. All those who have purchased 3230 set, have experienced that there was software problem in every set. Nokia is simply dumping the sets, which can not be sold in other countries.


Their confirmed bookings are highly unreliable and of no guarantee that you will be allowed to fly . The booked tickets get cancelled without intimation to consumer only to be known by him when he goes to the airport to catch his flight. You will not get refund immediately, if you have booked your ticket through credit card. If you call up their call centre, if you press numbers relating to refund, you will not be attended at all even if you try for hours together. If you talk to somebody regarding refund, you have to press options relating to ticket booking, so that someone will attend to you. Then you can ask for refund. They are following very good trick.


They advertise that if you take their membership, a plot of land will be given free of cost near Golden Spa at Coconut Grove. Please note Golden Spa is 35 Kms from Bangalore and the said plot of land is over 100 Kms from Bangalore . Based on false promises and with arrangement with Citibank and ICICI Bank, this team cheats the consumers of his money by asking payments through credit card.


If you book your ticket in a private bus operator, you will find that your seat is allotted to somebody else also. Many a times, though you have booked your ticket to some destination, you will dropped few kilometres away, if there are not enough passengers for your destination. Then you will have to depend on other services to reach your destination. Keep the records/proofs and give a complaint to the nearest police station, when you come back. If you find that the police is supporting the travel agent, immediately inform his higher ups or give a complaint to consumer forum. Always try to use government transportation services. They may be bad in service but will never cheat you.


If you receive unwanted advertisement / telemarketing call from any company or recovery agents. You will find it annoying especially when you are on roaming network. Ask their telephone number and report to the police. File a police complaint against the Chairman of the company .


If you happen to get admitted (or admit your family person/friend/ relative) for any operation in any hospital, keep all the records. Even if the doctor scribbles any information on a piece of paper and give it you, please keep it with you. In future, for your bad luck, if some adverse thing happens due to wrong dialysis or wrong operation, these things will come handy to fight it in a court. Please be clear that consumer forums are not of much help to you because they do not have good doctors in their panel. Many a times they do not have any doctors in their panel and even if they have, a doctor in the panel will try to help a doctor. In such a case you will have to fight tooth and nail. Hence keep all the records/proofs with you carefully.


Their promises to get you a broadband connection within a week is not to be relied upon. Once your money is stuck (about Rs. 2000), it takes lot of pains to recover it back. If you book Wireless fixed telephone, the Tata indicom sales person will tell you that you can send/receive fax, send/receive e-mails in other service providers' account also (for example vsnl, touchtel etc). Once you install the telephone, you will find that the instrument can not support fax machine even if connected through EPABX, you will find that you can receive e-mails in other accounts and can not send e-mails at all. You have to send e-mails only through Tataindicom e-mail service.



Air Deccan
ICICI bank, Citibank, Standard Chartered Bank
Parimiti Buildcon (Thane), Madras City Co-op Bldg. Soc (Chennai)
Tata motors, Maruthi
SBI credit card, Citibank, Standard Chartered
Tata Indicom Broadband, Airtel, BPL mobile
Kenya Star Tea
National Insurance Co., New India Assurance, generally all private/Multination al Insurance Companies
Nokia 6260, 3230
Royal Goan Beach Club (Goa), Happy Home Constructions (Bangalore), Country Club India Ltd. (Bangalore)
Sky Packers and Movers (Mumbai), Packways Pvt. Ltd.(Mumbai) , Sai Packers and Movers (Mumbai)


We have received many complaints from consumers that they are being harassed in the consumer courts when they go there to submit consumer complaint and attend hearings. They are not being served properly by the clerks, and the judges keep on giving hearing dates without arriving to judgment. These acts are contrary to the purpose of setting up of consumer courts that were basically meant to help the consumers. Please inform us if you have experienced or witnessed harassment or corruption. Inform us the exact time, date, and location of the incident in writing through duly signed letter. Your details will not be disclosed on this website, but you should be ready to co-operate when action against these people is initiated by nabbing them through proper channel.

For further clarifications you may contact:

International Consumer Rights Protection Council
B-9/55, Vijay Nagari,
P.O . Kasarvadavali,
Thane (West) 400601
Mumbai - India

An 80 year old man and his Crow

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45

years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"

The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time,

What is this?"

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when

he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the

same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT

IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old

tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening

a page, he asked his Son to read that page. When the son read it, the

following words were written in the diary :-

"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a

crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and

I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly

each time h e asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I

did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had

felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when

today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt

irritated and annoyed.


If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a

burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and

kind to them.Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will

say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

Thanks for spending ur time on reading this mail ...... Hope U r forwarding this to all ur friends as well...

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Ordering Pizza in 2020

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how  much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since October last year.

That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a

Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're  also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

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Friday, May 04, 2007

US Air Force pilots vs maintenance crews

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

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Nice Facts!

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in
the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.

of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without
killing them use to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to
get fired."

Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John
Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South
Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber
machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded
into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it
got "the whole 9 yards."

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The
conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic
stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to
prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and
been too sleepy to realize that *this* was the day of the changeover.

The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice."

In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam."

Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."

More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

term, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" is from
Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, "No eye
gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be
disqualified was to poke someone's eye out.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated
that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds!


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The Best Moments In Life

The Best Moments In Life

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.

3. Enjoying a ride down the ocuntry side.

4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.

5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.

6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.

7. Passing your final exams with good grades.

8. Being part of an interesting conversation.

9. Finding some money in some old pants.

10.... Laughing at yourself.

11.... Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.

12.... Laughing without a reason.

13.... "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you.

14.... Watching the sunset.

15.... Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.

16. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone.

1 7  . Having a great time with your friends.

1 8  . Seeing the one you love happy.

1 9   . Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.

20 . Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.

21 . Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU"

"True friends come in the good times when we tell hem to, and come in the bad times.....without calling."

this forward to all of the people you count as friends or someone
special in your life if you think this email will make them smile.

If you are a true friend you'll SEND this back to the one who sent it to u.

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