Saturday, May 26, 2007

WordPerfect Malfunction!

Dear Friends



There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in  a



long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  This



is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,

 which was  transcribed



from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to



say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing



the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".



Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer

 Support employee.



(Now I know why they record these conversations!):



 



Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"



Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."



Operator: "What sort of trouble??"



Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words



went away."



Operator: "Went away?"



Caller: "They disappeared."



Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



Caller: "Nothing."



Operator: "Nothing??"



Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."



Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"



Caller: "How do I tell?"



Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"



Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"



Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"



Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't

 accept anything I



type."



Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"



Caller: "What's a monitor?"



Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.



Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"



Caller: "I don't know."



Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where



the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"



Caller: "Yes, I think so."



Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's



plugged into the wall.



Caller: "Yes, it is."



Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there



were two cables plugged into the back of it,

 not just one??"



Caller: "No."



Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and



find the other cable."



Caller: "Okay, here it is."



Operator:

 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into



the back of your computer."



Caller: "I can't reach."



Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"



Caller: "No."



Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way



over??"



Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's



because it's dark."



Operator: "Dark??"



Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is



coming in from the window."



Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."



Caller: "I can't."



Operator: "No? Why not??"



Caller: "Because there's a power failure."



Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked



now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your



computer came in??"



Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the

 closet."



Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up



just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you



bought it from."



Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"



Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."



Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"



Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."





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