Friday, May 04, 2007

US Air Force pilots vs maintenance crews

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews:



Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."



Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."



Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."



Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."

Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."



Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."



Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."



Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."



Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."



Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."



Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."



Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."



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