Saturday, November 10, 2007

Just read

># Sign on a railway station at Patna:
>Aana free, jaana free,
>pakde gaye to khana free.
># Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
>Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
>She may be your grandmother!
># Seen on a bulletin board:
>Success is relative
>More the success, more the relatives.
># Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
>we need your heads to run our business.
># A traffic slogan:
>Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never
>will be.....
>Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations
>It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god."
>- Indian Armed Forces

Powered by ScribeFire.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Smile poem

If at times you feel you want to cry
And life seems such a trial
Above the clouds theres a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile.

As you travel on lifes way
With its many ups and downs
Remember its quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns.

Among the worlds expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away,
You get one back to keep.

Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden.

So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled.

(-: Keep Smiling :-)

Powered by ScribeFire.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Lessons learnt

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Five Important Lessons

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The MN took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied The little boy again counted his coins.
"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it, if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Interesting Facts

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions.

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes (Pupils) are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot.

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

Powered by ScribeFire.

About Orkut and security

Today in Mumbai Mirror Daily, it is written that so many terrorists and
under world people has got connecting through orkut. Like Dawood
Ibrahim,Chotta Shakkil many people are getting new man power
through Orkut only. The IB has started their investigations. So please
reduce the contacts through Orkut.

It is usual that we receive friend request from unknown people. But if
you actually do not know that person it is good to reject that request.
Because, if one terrorist is found by Police, his entire friend's list
will be carefully followed. And if you are there, you also will be in trouble.

So be careful! Also forward it to all your friends. This information is
true. It is written in the front page of Mumbai Mirror Daily.

You may be thinking that why these people adding so many friends
through orkut. It is simply because to mislead the Police. When they
(Police) get a huge friend list they will be concentrating on them.
They may be innocent people. At that time the real terrorists can
escape. So friends, please forward this information to all you know.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Top 21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always

speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take


18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says Hey instead of Hi

Says Yogurt instead of Curd

Says Cab instead of Taxi

Says Candy instead of Chocolate

Says Cookie instead of Biscuit

Says ** Free Way ** instead of Highway

Says got to go instead of Have to go

Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says

Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on

complaining about it every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters),

and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as

possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45


13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk


12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed),

repeats Zee several times, if the other person

unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee.

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching

traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and **Indian

Road** Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about Jet Lag.

8. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink Diet Coke instead of ** Normal ** Coke.

6. Tries to complain about any thing in ** India ** as if

he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers

of Airways by which he traveled back to ** India **,

even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India ,

tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one

1. Tries to begin conversation with; In US ....or When I

was in US...

Powered by ScribeFire.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Fwd: Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL / TATA-indicom

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: 12 Oct 2007 02:31
Subject: Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL
/ TATA-indicom

India's largest ISP ( a provider to TRAI ) continues to take its
customers for a ride...

... well, here's Part 2 of the coverage on TV !!

Please watch CNN-IBN for the unfolding story on the ISP: VSNL / TATA-indicom

...and how it is cheating its customers, day in and day out and
refuses to stop doing so!

Also see what TRAI is doing about it.

You are free to circulate this message to whomsoever the content might
benefit (within and outside your organization)... ... or do so simply
if you feel that there is someone curious enough to want to know what
your employer is up to and how the consumer is being cheated... left,
right and centre!

The show's name on CNN-IBN is: "All about the money!" Within that
show there is a segment called "At your service!" being moderated by
Paromita Chatterjee which you must watch.

The 2nd Part will be aired on: Saturday, 13.10.2007 at 18:30 hrs. (6:30 PM), IST

Replay of the of the 2nd Part will be aired on: Sunday, 14.10.2007 at
15:30 hrs. (3:30 PM), IST

If you had missed the 1st Part of the show... no worries: Just watch
it on YouTube, click the following link:

The 2nd Part will with even more revelations. It will have voices from
all over India... it will go one step further...

Starting today, Delhi's local, non-political newspaper called:
"neighbourhood FLASH" has the story on this huge ISP scam as their
cover story. It is currently being distributed to over 2.5 lac English
speaking households in all of South Delhi, Noida and Gurgaon.

For more just Google as follows:

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TATA

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" VSNL

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TATA Indicom

- "Ajoy Eric Lal" TRAI

- TATA Indicom Scam

- TATA Indicom on CNN-IBN

... etc. etc. ...

Be amazed and watch what this ISP is doing to us customers!

Best Regards
Ajoy Eric Lal
New Delhi

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Honest interview answers.

Honest answers:

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you
called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have
any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the
fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to
get more money, so I am here today.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my
job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a
change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.

11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me
20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on
whatever I ask.So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Friday, August 03, 2007


A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, "Well... everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS

Powered by ScribeFire.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Do you know?

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99
(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999
(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999
(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)


Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting

Powered by ScribeFire.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


1) If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side.

If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

2) If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a
human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4) Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is
a thin film of bacteria on it.

5) The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

6) The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7) The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person
looks at something pleasing.

8) The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9) Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10) The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not
the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11) Dalmatians are born without spots.

12) Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13) The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but
for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)

14) Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have
the buttons on the left

15) The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other
birds raise their lower eyelids

16) The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been
digested by a bee

17) Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

18) The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release
calming hormones

19) Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

20) Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

21) The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which
are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

22) When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

23) When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

24) The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a
tomato can for a carburetor

25) The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

26) Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

27) Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of
Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

28) It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to
make a film about it

29) The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

30) There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

31) The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound
of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

32) Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

33) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

34) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

35) Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

36) The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea
the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

37) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born,
and 140,000 people die

38) In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is
10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch
(and make it look like it is smiling.)

39) Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking
countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

40) The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its
head are the rabbit and the parrot

41) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair

42) The average person laughs 13 times a day

43) Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:
Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

44) Women blink nearly twice as much as men

45) German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

46) Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

47) Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

48) Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two
thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death

49) If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the
air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if
the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause

Powered by ScribeFire.


How a man withdraws cash from ATM.
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
How a woman withdraws cash from ATM
1) Park the car
2) Check makeup
3) Turn off engine
4) Check makeup
5) Go to ATM
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse.
7) Insert card
8) Hit Cancel
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.
10) Insert card
11) Enter PIN
12) Take cash
13) Go to car
14) Check makeup
15) Start car
16) Stop car
17) Run back to ATM
18) Take ATM card
19) Back to car
20) Check makeup
21) Start car
22) Check makeup
23) Drive for 1/2 mile
24) Release handbrake
25) Drive on.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Smart Barber, Dumb KID

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

Powered by ScribeFire.

Kid who did not want to go to school

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your

responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

Powered by ScribeFire.


1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat
and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're
not thinking the way he is.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the
first usual questions a guy asks on the
phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about.

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to
tell you many things and it is drinking!

13. Guys cry!!!

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this
makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind!" would make him jump to a
conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're
asking him to do you a favor,
he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay
down the card for you.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

24. Guys hate gays!

25. Guys love their moms.

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.

28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.

31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his
problems with you may end up being
admired by your boyfriend.

38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily
get the wrong one.

43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard
for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girl friend after they broke
up especially when they've been together
for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved
with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt,
he won't be matured and grow up.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot
more than girls do. They could even
hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
probably see that he is nervous.

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,
"Please come and listen to me"

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but
court the girls anyway and then realize at the
end that he is wrong.

64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure
unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way
a girl would do over her romance
novels and make-ups.

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your

72.. Don't be a snob. Guys may eas ily give up on the first sign of

73.. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be

74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than
attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable
decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he
finds them offending and he just tried to
be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is
already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at
fixing things.

86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,
give it to him. But when you catch
him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at
you and it obviously shows that he is
jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your
boy best friend loves you more than
your boyfriend does.

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls
read and take as their basis of experience.

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in
front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even
just for one night, hang up. He also tells
that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun
of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your

Powered by ScribeFire.

10 Steps To Better Decision Making

1. Making a difficult choice can seem harrowing when you feel you're working alone. Involve others in your decision making by asking for criticism and seeking advice from those who can approach the choice from a fresh perspective. Listen to opinions that fall on both sides of the topic at hand. You may also want to consult an expert.

2. Learn from your mistakes as well as your triumphs. Examine decisions you have made in the past as they will teach you more than you will learn from most other sources. Though some decisions will not seem important, all decisions shape our lives and should be regarded as educational. Apply that knowledge to your current dilemma.

3. A good decision acted upon in a timely matter is always better than a great one acted upon too late. It is important to recognize that you will never know enough to make the perfect decision. Don't become paralyzed by your need to foresee all possible outcomes to every possible choice.

4. Involve your head and your heart. Ask both practical questions and personal questions about the problem at hand. Considering the facts as well as your feelings (and the feelings of others) when examining your options will ensure that you make a balanced decision.

5. Before anything else, focus on the most basic, necessary results. Often, a decision maker will get bogged down thinking about the non-essential elements of a decision. Avoid considering extraneous factors and far-fetched perfect outcomes. Ask yourself, "What needs to be done?"

6. Consider the entire range of possibilities, no matter how unlikely. When faced with a complex decision, brainstorm by yourself or with others to find as many of the vital elements as possible. Evaluate those elements as they relate to the choice you must make.

7. It was a wise person who noted that, "you can't please all of the people all of the time." Almost all decisions will involve some dissatisfaction or conflict. Some decisions may even create new problems. Once you have made a decision, stand by it. Keep in mind that you have used your best judgment and it was the best choice at the time.

8. Don't waste time on poor choices. Reject poor choices, even if you've begun to implement them, and stop doing the things that aren't working, so you can focus on the solutions that have strong potential.

9. Consult with the people who will be directly affected by your decision. People appreciate being heard and enjoy when their opinions are seen as valuable. Even making a simple choice can have a profound impact on those around you.

10. It is easy to dismiss your intuition, but in doing so, you may be disregarding valuable insight and even solutions. Ask yourself what choices you would make if you weren't afraid and then see what your subconscious offers as an answer. Try to ignore the fear of error when consulting your "gut."

Powered by ScribeFire.

Tongue Twisters

Peter bought a butter,
The butter Peter bought was bitter,
So Peter Bought A better butter,
To make the bitter butter better.


How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.


Which witch wished which wicked wish?


Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers?
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?


She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
The shells she sells are surely seashells.
So if she sells shells on the seashore,
I'm sure she sells seashore shells.


A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.


Betty Botter had some butter,
But, she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter that would make my batter better.
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
And she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.


A big black bug bit a big black bear,
made the big black bear bleed blood.


Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.


A bitter biting bittern Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten, By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"


Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!


Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.
The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed shilly-shallied south.
These sheep shouldn't sleep in a shack;
sheep should sleep in a sack.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Technically correct!!!

A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.
The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.
The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.
Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the SEATAC airport and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!"

Powered by ScribeFire.

Smart Soldiers

There were three generals, one Chinese, an Iraqi, and a Turk. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.

The Chinaman said, "My army would kill themselves for their country!"

Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, "When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!"

He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.

Next came the Turkish General and he said the same thing to one of his platoons. About seven seconds later they heard gunshots and once again everyone was dead.

Finally came the Iraqi and he did the same to his platoon. Several seconds past and there were no gunshots. They decided to wait a little longer. Then several more seconds past and still no gunshots.

Finally they went in and the whole Iraqi platoon was on the floor blowing under the feather to keep it up.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Trap ???

A large group of Pakistani soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a Indian voice call from behind a sand dune. "One Indian Army soldier is better than ten Pakistanis."
The Pakistani commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle breaks and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Indian Army soldier is better than fifty Pakistanis."
Furious, the Pakistani commander sends his next best 50 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Indian voice calls out again "One Indian Army soldier is better than one hundred Pakistanis."
The enraged Pakistani Commander musters one hundred of his best fighters and sends then across the dune. Gunfire, grenades, machine gun fire, rockets, etc. ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Pakistani fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his Commander, "Don`t send anymore men, its a trap...there`s two of them!"

Powered by ScribeFire.

Lipstick Problem

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.

They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.

The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was to remove the waxy lipstick, and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean. The custodian then demonstrated...

He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.

That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I
awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.


Powered by ScribeFire.

Standing at the Window

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen." Then she whispered to him, " Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."

Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck? " So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said,"Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you. "

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil Keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad Habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.... He has seen your whole life.

He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven

He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave Of you

Powered by ScribeFire.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Who's your Barber?

A man went to a  barbershop to have his hair cut and
his beard

As the barber  began to work, they began to have a
They talked about  so many things and various
subjects. When
they eventually touched on  the subject of God, the
barber said: "I
don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?"
asked the
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to
realize that God
 doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be
so many sick
 people? Would there be abandoned children? If God
there would  be neither suffering nor pain. I can't
imagine a loving God who
would allow all of these  things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond
didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished
his job and
the customer left the shop. Just after he left the
barbershop, he saw
a man in  the street with long, stringy, dirty hair
and an untrimmed
 beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

 The customer turned back and entered the barber shop
and he said
 to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can
you say
 that?" asked the surprised barber.  "I am here, and I
am a barber.
And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer
exclaimed. "Barbers
don't exist because if they  did, there would be no
people with dirty
long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man
outside." "Ah, but
barbers DO
 exist! That's what happens when people do not come to

"Exactly!", affirmed the customer.  "That's the point!
God, too,
 exist!  That's what happens when people  do not go to
Him and
don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much
pain and
suffering in the world." If you think God exists, send
this to other people

...If you think God does not exist, delete it!


Powered by ScribeFire.

At St. Peter

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever
> done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
> "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "On a trip to
> the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-
> testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed
> them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached
> the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the
> head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it
> on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
> St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?" "Just a couple of
> minutes ago..."

Powered by ScribeFire.

On Second thoughts, Did you ever stop and wonder ?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first

Powered by ScribeFire.

Never mess with drunkards!

Two drunks stumble out of a pub in Ireland at about 4:00 in the morning. They stagger to the nearest lamppost and lean against it when along comes a policeman.


The first drunk pipes up, "Excuse me, ossifer, but I wonder could you tell me if the last bus to Dublin has left yet." To which the policeman replies "Of course it has. It's 4:00 in the morning."


The second drunk then weighs in and says, "Sorry, sir, but I wonder if the last bus to Galway has left yet." The officer again replies "Of course it has. It's 4:00 in the morning."


The first drunk then starts up again and asks, "Could you tell me please, ossifer, has the last bus to Cork gone yet."


The policeman is really irritated now so he shouts, "It's 4am, all the bloody  buses have gone!"


And with that the first drunk turns to his friend and says, "Ok, Mick, we can cross the road now."

Powered by ScribeFire.

Its not a quiz. JUST 1 QUESTION

 You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy
  night, when you pass by a bus stop, and you see
  three people waiting for the bus:
  1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
  2. An old friend who once saved your life.
  3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
  Which one would you choose to offer a ride to,
  knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
  Think before you continue reading...
  This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once
  actually used as part of a job application.
  You could pick up the old lady, because she is going
  to die, and thus you should save her first;
  Or you could take the old friend who once
  saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to
  pay back. However, you may never be able to find
  your perfect mate again.
  The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants)
  had no trouble coming up with his answer.

  "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let to
  take the lady to the hospital.
  I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the
  partner of my dreams."
  Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up
  our stubborn thought limitations.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will

1) Grab a calculator. (You wont be able to do this in
your head)
2) Key in the first three digits of your phone number
if ur phone number is 7 digits or else take the first
4 digits of ur number if its 8 digits.(only land line
(NOT the area code)
3) Multiply by 80
4) Add 1
5) Multiply by 250
6) Add the last four numbers of your phone number
7) Add the last four numbers of your phone number
8) Subtract 250
9) Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ?

Powered by ScribeFire.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Twenty Great One Liners................

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Some Wacky Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Jim and Mary

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sunk to the bottom & stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Medical Director became aware of Mary's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
When he went to tell Mary the news he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news."
"The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses."
"The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

Powered by ScribeFire.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Vote for TAJ as one of the new 7 Wonders URGENT!!!

 To vote for the Taj Mahal by SMS FROM INDIA:

send TAJ to 4567

The cost to send an SMS is Rs. 3 for all the following operators Prepaid and  Postpaid: Airtel, Hutch, Spice, Tata Tele, Reliance Info, Reliance GSM, BPL.  Exceptions: Rs. 1: MTNL Prepaid and Postpaid, BSNL Prepaid; Rs. 0.8: BSNL  Postpaid. Only providers indicated above accept voting.


OR Visit:


This is issued in public interest by me. For rules etc. go to their website.

Powered by ScribeFire.


A Sardarji went to US & had a meeting with George


Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come


me. (He takes him in a deep forest)

Bush: Dig the ground. (Sardarji did it.)

Bush: more..more..more... (Sardarji went up to 100


Bush: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.

Bush: you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we

used to have telephones. (Sardarji became


He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush had been in


Sardarji: I want to show you our advancement. (The

same, he takes Bush in forest.)

Sardar: dig it. (Bush does.)

Sardar: more...More..More.......... (Bush goes Upto

almost 400 feet...)

Sardarji: try to find something. (Bush tries.)

Sardarji: did you get anything?

Bush: no.

Sardarji: yes, even 400 years ago we used to have

wireless Technology

Powered by ScribeFire.

Worried Boss

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employers home phone number and was greeted with a Child's' whisper.


"Is your daddy home?" he asked

"Yes" whispered the small voice

"May I talk with him?"


Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"


"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No"

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss

Asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes, whispered the boy, "a policeman"

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child

"Busy doing what?"

Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman", came the answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What's that noise?"

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?!", demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?!!."

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...


Powered by ScribeFire.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Pappu and his teacher


TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?


TEACHER : What are you talking about?

PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !


TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?



TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?


TEACHER : No, that's wrong

PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".

PAPPU : I is...

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."


TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry


but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish


PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"


PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?


TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and

one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at



TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.


TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !


TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no

longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

Powered by ScribeFire.

Always give money to beggars....

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The

beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol

muddles the brain and damages the liver".

 The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone". As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit." Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.

Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."

Powered by ScribeFire.

WordPerfect Malfunction!

Dear Friends

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in  a

long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.  This

is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,

 which was  transcribed

from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to

say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing

the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer

 Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):


Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't

 accept anything I


Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it,

 not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."


 "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way


Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's

because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked

now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your

computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the


Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Powered by ScribeFire.

After 9/11

>  The prime Minister of China called President Bush to

>  console  him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm

>  sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big

>  tragedy. But in case you are  missing any documents

>  from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."



>  ======================================================



>  Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:


>  Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my


>  condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many

>  people,


>  such great bldgs...


>  I would like to ensure that we had nothing in

>  connection


>  with that........


>  Bush: What buildings? What people??


>  Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?


>  Bush: It's eight in the morning.


>  Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!


>  ======================================================



>  Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in



>  and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"


>  The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks

>  over


>  and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"


>  Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"


>  The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"


>  And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14

>  million


>  Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."


>  And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"


>  Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you

>  no-one


>  would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"


>  =======================================================



>  Pakistani on the moon:


>  Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: Problem...


>  Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?


>  A: ...... Problem Solved!!!!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Good one pls go through

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and

have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football

banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am

eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the

wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it,

"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there ."

Powered by ScribeFire.

BE A MILLIONAIRE selling tomatoes

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR  manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed."He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the

application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US . He started to plan his family's future. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story: M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire....!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Nigerian 419 scam Sample 2.


Asalam Aleykom,

This message might meet you in utmost surprise however,it's just my urgent

need for a foreign partner that made me contact you for this transaction.

I am a banker by profession from DAKAR REPUBLIC OF SENEGAL in west Africa and currently

holding the post of auditing general i discover this deposit in our auditing course.

I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds $36.700.000.00 Million United State Dollars

the deceased client who died in the sharter plane which crashed on mount

kenyan in the kenyan city of sumburu on 21st july,2003 to any foreign account .

You can confirm the genuiness of the deceased death by clicking on this


Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared

between us in the ratio 60/40 if you agree to my business proposal.

Eagerly waiting for your response.


Mr.Mohamed Mangu


Explore the seven wonders of the world Learn more!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Nigerian 419 scam Sample. (In my inbox)

Dear .

I am Stella Makoba, aged 21years old the daughter of Late Yusuf Makoba a politician ,gold and diamon merchant from Angola ? I and my mother now residing in Senegal dakar west africa.

As a result of the on-going problem in our country, My mother saddled with problems of her ill-health of protracted diabetes and high blood pressure which is getting of increase in the recent times are looking for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive the sum of US$6.2million on our behalf which we intend to invest in your country.

Due to this crises in my country home town, We managed to sneak out myself and my mother 59 years of age and my kid sister to Dakar senegal for safety.

After the killing of my Father by the rebels, we decided to come down here to Dakar Senegal to secure this deposit , deposited here by my father and to further look for a trust worthy individual abroad to receive these deposit which has being deposited here in Dakar Senegal before he was eventually killed by the heartless rebels ? After contacting the finance firm here in senegal they have agreed to transfer the fund .

I feel confident therefore to introduce myself to you based on this problem and our present condition as all our foreign contacts and connections got lost during this crises, all properties burnt by the rebels.

I am desperately in need to move and re-locate this huge deposit to your country for safe keeping as this is the only wealth remaining for the future survival and well being of my family.

For your percentage for assistance, a negotiable percentage will be discussed as soon as I receive your response based on this plea for your assistance as our lives are highly in danger due to this problem.

I pray and plead for your help. Please endavour to email me back for further clarifications over this issue.

God bless you as you respond to our plea for assistance.

Sincerely yours.

Stella And Mother .


This is exactly what I received to the Sneakemail e-mail address on my blog. This makes me emphasize that we should not display our primary e-mail id's on the web. Such spammers have bots crawling the net for e-mail id's.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Never tell lies to ur MOM..........??????

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl

roommate Ishita

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how

pretty Kumar's roommate was.

She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this


only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she


to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the


Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be

thinking, but I assure you, Ishita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Ishita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother

came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate.

You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but

I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not

saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains


it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Ishita, and I'm not saying that


'do not' sleep with Ishita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping


her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the




Lesson of the day:

Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

Powered by ScribeFire.

This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

This is for u whn u leave ur school. u will really mis those days in future.

Missing thos school days..

Remembering my class mates, after few years,

My eyes were filled with tears,

Everyone now is busy a lot,

No one escaped destiny's plot

Saw the girl, whom once i thought as my best frnd,

Oops! today she is somebody else's girlfrnd,

After months remembered about her for a little while,

Heard she is happy,that made me smile.

Project reviews to campus interviews,

Nicknames to last bench games,

Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,

Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything is fresh in our mind,

Wish life could just rewind,

Let's laugh, play & rejoice,

Once again become school/college guys.

Chatting & laughing. We all were in elation,

Till the painful moments of seperation,

When it was time to part,

We returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,

And too many worries,

But those cherished moments,

Will live forever in our memories!!!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Bridge

A Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was
kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please
hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl
said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the
puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I
may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no
matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." In any
relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them
to hold urs... This msg is too short..........but carries a lot of