Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Know Everybody!

Banta was bragging to his boss one day," You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about
Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's
door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you!
You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Banta's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta is knowing Cruise
was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Banta says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Banta says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
At the White House, Clinton spots Banta on the tour and motions him
and his boss over, saying, "Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my
way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of
coffee first."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta,
who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I have known the
pope a long time."
So they fly to Rome. Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses
in Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I cannot
catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all
the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the
balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure
enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart
attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss side, Banta asks him, "What happened?" His
boss looks up and says," I was doing fine until you and the Pope came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said," Who is that on the
balcony with Banta?"



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